


get the agony auntie back

by rubiesanddiamonds



Series: i get by with a little help from my friends [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, M/M, ale and allura combined is probably the most irresponsible thing anyone let happen, as always 4/20 friendly, feelings jams and a healthy dose of communication, keith hasnt killed lance yet, keith is sooo savs type, lance gets wrekt, lance is Overdramatic as per, thats a good sign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8837962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubiesanddiamonds/pseuds/rubiesanddiamonds
Summary: pigwidgeon: what kind of violation has occurred herehunky dory: Lance’s body is currently sprawled out on the floor with blood and shit everywhere while Allura and his sisters take photos and tweet about itpigwidgeon: so a normal day then





	1. its a meet the family and a step forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wag1 guys idk really what to say here but i went to amsterdam last weekend and i recommend it so much its an amazing city if you ever have the chance to go taKE IT!! i had the best weekend ever was amazin.
> 
> we have more ocs also!! alejandrina (alevator), lance's older half sister on his papa's side, esther and savannah (etchasketch, savanabanana), lance's younger twin sisters.

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (06:00)**

**man with the memes:** i hate life

 **man with the memes:** i got up fifteen mins ago and hauled ass all the way to work for my morning shift

 **man with the memes:** i forgot that suze switched up the rota like the dumbass i am

 **man with the memes:** now im standing in my slacks and half cleansed face outside the cafe and im not even working today

 **man with the memes:** this stress is clogging my pores

 **man with the memes:** tldr im working the early shift tomorrow and my sweet ass could be in bed right now

 

**gay in space to man with the memes (06:14)**

**gay in space:** i'm going to be done with training soon. want to go get breakfast?

 **man with the memes:** dude they know its cool

 **gay in space:** eh, it's weird. they don't need to know everything

 **man with the memes:** tru

 **man with the memes:** and yea want to go to nicé croissant??

 **gay in space:** you don't need to add the accent every time

 **gay in space:** but yeah sure x

 **man with the memes:** how else will you know its french?

 **man with the memes:** ok see u soon ill come down to the gym  (Blue Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (08:02)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** this is not the kind of bullshit i deserve to wake up to

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** getoveryourselfdude.jpg

 **man with the memes:** lol who is that

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i mean i could be wrong because numbers not saved but im assuming its this guy i had sex with like once back in the uk

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** it was like a fuck im drunk and hes giving me the attention i want sort of thing and i wasnt the same gal i am now

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but fuckin hell am i paying for it now

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** leave me alone!! delete my number!! im halfway across the world!! it was like six years ago!!

 **gay in space:** has he sent you messages like this before?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh yeah

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he had a girl when we banged and he broke up with her for me

 **man with the memes:** looool what

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** trust me! and when i said no he was like so confused ??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh this has ruined my morning

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** like i get his intention was to try to make some form of communication between us

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but like what am i even supposed to reply to that

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** whatever im just gonna hit him with the safe 1 g hope ur good too

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** have u guys got coffee were out

 **man with the memes:** im not home yet

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what lol why

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunky where u @@

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im tryna holla why u no answerrrr

 **hunky dory:** Sorry I was on the phone to my mom

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ahhh!! which one !!!

 **hunky dory:** Leilahni

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw no why didnt u tell them i said hi!!! how is lei how is davina?? is niylah okay?

 **hunky dory:** Yes they are all good lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ARE THEY COMING DOWN TO SEE US SOMETIME IS THAT THE PURPOSE OF THE PHONE CALL :))))

 **hunky dory:** Lol no, Ni wants me to come to her school play

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg did she extend the invite to aunt allura.....?

 **hunky dory:** I mean I don’t know how many people are allowed to come to an elementary kids’ production of Alice in Wonderland but we can go and support her? She’d love to see you lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** YAY

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):**!!! I LOVE HUNKYS FAMILY

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so excited to see leilahni and davina my favourite power couple

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol hunk ur mums are so cool

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and lil niylah how is she so grown!! she was 4 last week!?

 **pigwidgeon:** lol youre so middle aged allura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** watch it pid

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im excited doesnt mean i dont clock to these rude ass comments. i am young and free only 23

 **meet matte:** you’re 24 allura. also morning all

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** go wash ur mouth out w soap

 **pigwidgeon:** morning bro

 **gay in space:** sup matt

 **man with the memes:** heya matty

 **hunky dory:** Mornin dude, sleep well? And Niylah’s 7 now.

 **meet matte:** eh. as good as. you?

 **hunky dory:** Like a log.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds!!!!! so grown!!!!

 **man with the memes:** lol na i mean ive watched her grow up but its still weird

 **man with the memes:** i remember when she first met noah lol

 **man with the memes:** he misses her

 **hunky dory:** Aw bring him along! She’d love to see him

 **man with the memes:** when is it?

 **hunky dory:** This Thursday

 **man with the memes:** ill ask ale

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds is this like an Actual real family outing with Relatives

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so excited

 **coranasaurus rex:** Allura im your blood relative

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** coran you dont count youre everyones Uncle

 **hunky dory:** Also allura yes we have coffee, and I’m boiling the kettle now. Do you want me to make you a mug?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk i love u

 **man with the memes:** hunky im omw back want to make me a tea???

 **hunky dory:** Only just coming back? What did you get up to? How was your morning? For someone who was complaining about not being in bed earlier on you sure weren't in a hurry back.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ooooo juicy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** how was your morning lance ;))))))

 **man with the memes:** is it so wrong to enjoy the morning breeze on my skin? the song of the birds at dawn?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** u sure it wasnt keith all sweaty and worked up from the gym?? wasnt he training this morning??? ;--)))))

 **man with the memes:** i dont know what ur talking about u filthy minded heathen

 **gay in space:** oh is that why you looked like you were choking on something when you first came in?? babe

 **man with the memes:** sEE WHAT YOU DO ALLURA

 

**gay in space to man with the memes (08:36)**

**gay in space:** i'd rather have you choking on my dick than your spit tbh

 **man with the memes:** thank god 4 allura

 **man with the memes:** thank god 4 u

 **man with the memes:** how r u real

 **gay in space:** i'm not really. your brain's long broken and i'm just a figment of your imagination.

 **man with the memes:** if i dreamt up a fictional bae i doubt hed be this much of an asshole

 

**pigwidgeon to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (08:37)**

**pigwidgeon:** oh i wondered why you werent back keith

 **pigwidgeon:** glad you arent dead or whatever

 **gay in space:** thanks pidge that means a lot

 **pigwidgeon:** welcome

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** whats everyone up to today??

 **gay in space:** working. i’ve got classes til five

 **meet matte:** i have class till midday then i’m probably just going to stare at my dorm wall for three hours instead of doing my essay

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** is that the attitude of a harvard law student?? would this kind of attitude make elle woods proud??

 **meet matte:** no. i’ll do the essay. have to make elle proud

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** good

 **pigwidgeon:** its too hot for me to go outside today without burning so im going to hole up and code until my shift

 **man with the memes:** well im not working and my usual hang out bud is otherwise occupied so im napping then i might catch some rays cos its hothothot n im not going to go full tomato in the sun like piggot

 **pigwidgeon:** where do these god awful nicknames come from? i think i hate one the most but no you come up with another ridiculous variation of my name

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol u love them pidget

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** n lance can i jump in on that?

 **man with the memes:** sure b

 **hunky dory:** Coffee’s done Lura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** thanks mum x

 **man with the memes:** mom

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** mum!

 **man with the memes:** mom!

 **hunky dory:** How about we call me by my name?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** does anyone know your real name hunk

 **man with the memes:** thats not my name (doomdoom) thats not my name

 

**man with the mems to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (11:34)**

**man with the memes:** SUNS OUT

 **man with the memes:** know what that means

 **man with the memes:** GUNSOUT.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** put those noodle arms away

 **man with the memes:** like u can talk cheese string

 **man with the memes:** weather like this calls for a barbeque

 **man with the memes:** really i deserve a treat after my dramatic morning and to celebrate no work

 **man with the memes:** oh i wonder if anyone on this chat is any good at cooking on a bbq....

 **man with the memes:** with their amazing honeyed chicken and pineapple and plantain.....

 **man with the memes:** and only if someone had a roof garden with a bbq....

 **man with the memes:** oooh woe is me

 **hunky dory:** Lance, stop being over dramatic

 **hunky dory:** If we all chip in ten bucks or so and one of you come and meet us at the store with a car, me and Shae can get everything on our way home?

 **hunky dory:** That is, if we can use Shiro's barbeque

 **Space dad:** Yes, you can use the BBQ.

 **Space dad:** I'm not home right now, but Allura can let you in.

 **man with the memes:** HMMMM how can she???  >;--))))

 **Space dad:** She has a key.

 **man with the memes:** HMMMMMMMMMMM really that's interesting  >;---))))

 **Space dad:** Calm down with your god awful emoticons. Keith has one too.

 **man with the memes:** i know. also no fair why dont i have one  >;--((((

 **gay in space:** why would anyone trust you with keys to their flat lance

 **man with the memes:** thats a burn to urself cos i have keys to urs so ;P

 **man with the memes:** when ur done with ur class let me know and come over  (Blue Heart )

 **man with the memes:** also tell margret i say hi and that ill be back next week if shes still there

 **man with the memes:** i stg that woman does not Stop

 **man with the memes:** she puts me to shame

 **gay in space:** if shes still here i'll let her know.

 

**gay in space to man with the memes (11:45)**

**gay in space:** don’t make it obvious

 **man with the memes:** how are they going to know the secret behind the Key from me saying i know u have one????

 **gay in space:** oh lol. i meant with the margret thing. but yeah the key thing too

 **man with the memes:** keith they didnt know we were having sex for near two months they wont realise where weve been having it for another two at least

 **man with the memes** : they are the most unperceptive people ever

 **gay in space:** true. real margret is still here but she’s at the pool. you're right she doesn't stop lol.

 **gay in space:** if i catch her on her way out i’ll let you know. she’d like it if you came, i think.

 **man with the memes:** i have monday mornings free now

 **man with the memes:** i can be a regular ;)

 **gay in space:** oh lord.

 **gay in space:** i think she’d be really excited to hear that, though.

 **gay in space:** i might be. i'm not sure yet. x

 **man with the memes:** (Blue Heart )

 

**hunky dory to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (12:26)**

**hunky dory:** So is Allura going to come pick us up? Are you alright to drive?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pls hunk who do u think ur dealing with

 **hunky dory:** Alright if you're sure. We're in the queue.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im leaving now  (Purple Heart )

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also hunk idk why u care so much it wouldnt be the first time uve rode with me waved at the wheel

 **hunky dory:** Okay we are stopping this conversation here for the sake of my poor heart

 **Space dad:** I think that's wise. Or I might actually have to arrest you.

 

**hunky dory to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (12:52)**

**hunky dory:** Aw crud I forgot the side dishes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol hunk always forgetting about those side chicks for his main

 **hunky dory:** Lance can you run to the store and get some mac n cheese, rice, potatoes and salad?

 **man with the memes:** can do

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance if you chill for like 10 mins ill drive you up there and get some drink i forgot to get any when i picked hunk n shae up

 **man with the memes:** like what?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** cider and beer? no spirits its far too early we arent on holiday

 **man with the memes:** wow allura saying no to making cocktails???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god i always forget shiro has a shaker

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro ur my fav rn

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** fuck what two minute ago me said we arent poisoning out systems with yeast infection

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** auntie alluras makin sex on the beach and kamikazes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro u still have some triplesec right? 

 **Space dad:** I do. But I don't recommend a kamikaze at noon.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** na thats for later on in the evening

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont worry so much youll go even more grey

 **man with the memes:** if i buy tequila please make me some surise

 **pigwidgeon:** lance no

 **man with the memes:** lance yes

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(13:54)**

**man with the memes:** you know that one friends ep where monica stamps on paul the wine guy watch and shes all im not a kook

 **pigwidgeon:** how can you list friends episodes off of your head like that

 **man with the memes:** my mind is literally the friends theme on repeat at all times

 **man with the memes:** anyway shes all im not a kook and chandlers like okay so rachels done the groceries and shes bought the bleach BUT she didn't get the one w the easy pour spout

 **man with the memes:** and monicas just like buT WHY WOULDNT YOU

 **man with the memes:** ok now imagine me coming home after doing the groceries and buying rice and pasta but not the kind with the sticky bit to seal it up after

 **hunky dory:** But why wouldn’t you!! God gave us these small things! Y’all need to open your eyes!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol you two are actually monica and chandler

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hows the food coming??

 **hunky dory:** The chicken is gorgeous. The quorn is as good as it is going to get. Lance is doing the rice using his NOT RESEALABLE pack.

 **hunky dory:** This is why you can’t portion control. You don’t give yourself the option to save some.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** don't remember the taste of meat so idccccc

 **man with the memes:** hunk its ok we have tape ill just stick it

 **hunky dory:** You wouldn’t HAVE to if you’d bought the resealable pack

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im putting the drinks in an ice bucket

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro where is ur bucket

 **Space dad:** I don’t know if I own a bucket.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what the heck

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** where do u keep ur prosecco when u have gUESTS?

 **man with the memes:** in what world would shiro be entertaining guests with prosecco

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro lOVES prosecco didnt u know lol?? why else do u think i got some

 **man with the memes:** i thought u bought it because it was on offer??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well yeah i mean it was like a sign that i had to get shiro some ???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i still wouldve got a bottle but not as much as i did buy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** fyi shiro i bought like six bottles so ur gonna have at least one unopened left for urself dwdw

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also shiro im gonna use this

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** thatcool?.jpg

 **Space dad:** That’s a vase allura.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** in what world is this a vase its fuckin enormous

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its multi purpose. metal and big and bucket esque

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** for all ur flower displaying and prossecco chilling needs

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** you know how the saying goes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** if the bottle fits... chill it

 **Space dad:** There better be a lot of alcohol and food left for me for letting you host this thing.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ngl you better hurry back if you want in cos weve started already lol

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (15:44)**

**man with the memes:** lura turned the bbq into a sesh and bought drink as per her irresponsible auntie ways

 **man with the memes:** sure u have seen the IRRESPONSIBILITY going on in the gc

 **man with the memes:** so now im wavy bby

 **man with the memes:** like way more waved than i wann a let on because allura will laugh at me

 **man with the memes:** come over and join usss

 **man with the memes:** theres still food and drink left and its as good as u can imagine

 **man with the memes:** leave all those pensioners and body builders for ur choice piece of twink ass over here

 **man with the memes:** hop on ur deathcycle in ur tight lycra pants and come see meeee

 **man with the memes:** wanna see ur gawjuss face

 **man with the memes:** n ur super hot bod

 **man with the memes:** cant stop thinkin abt u from this morning

 **man with the memes:** holy shit r u so hot when ur doin ur squats like my god man ur ass

 **man with the memes:** i want to thank not only god but also jesus for that fine specimen of booty i get to tap

 **man with the memes:** omds i wasnt listening to allura now shes hitting me

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to man with the memes (15:55)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey b can i ask something

 **man with the memes:** yea shoot

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what did u mean at the pasta party

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** because like you and keith were already together what did u mean i like him

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** obviously u like him uve been havin sex fo ages

 **man with the memes:** oh lol ok embarrassing why u pulling out receipts now i was drunk on carbs

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** tell me u ass

 **man with the memes:** lol ok um i think i meant like wow i actually like him as a person and want to be with Him as a person and not just because he is Hot and fun Sexy times but bc i like him and his stupid existence and shit too

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg lance

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur so cute

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** tell him

 **man with the memes:** fuck off not yet

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** whyyyy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he almost 98% feels the same

 **man with the memes:** no u know what im good with what weve got here

 **man with the memes:** so

 **man with the memes:** im going to take your good advice and categorise my thoughts n place that specific one in this here filing cabinet in my brain and lock it away for a few years

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** years what the hell

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** months max

 **man with the memes:** ok months

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pls tell him tho

 **man with the memes:** i will

 **man with the memes:** i want to!! i want to shower him in love n compliments

 **man with the memes:** im just scared lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i know baby  (Purple Heart ) but its just keith hes just a loser dude like you

 **man with the memes:** everyone is telling me this but i find it had to believe hes not actually from outer space

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** an outer space loser dude then

 **man with the memes:** ok allura i get the hint

 **man with the memes:** ill tell him

 **man with the memes:** just

 **man with the memes:** give me a while ok

 **man with the memes:** things are good i really don't want to lance them up

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** babes i used that as a joke One time

 **man with the memes:** its true tho

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh ok ur being Annoyin stop putting urself down Rn

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** if you dont want to tell keith now thats ok but get better at talking about other things with him so soon telling him this feelings junk will seem like the easiest thing cos youve spoken about so many other things

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** even if yall start out small. tell him about noah and est and sav x

 **man with the memes:** i mean i can do it but

 **man with the memes:** does keith even have a family i only know shiro who i think mightve like raised him or smthn idk i dont want to accidentally tread on a landmine

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiros his bro and mako is shiros dad :) dont worry keith is not a bomb hes a human

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but ur right he is very close to shiro

 **man with the memes:** his relationship w him is a lot like mine and savannahs i think?? from what ive breifly heard/seen

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol wb esther

 **man with the memes:** esther has always been a Cunt

 **man with the memes:** i love her but shes genuinely evil

 **man with the memes:** savannahs the nice one i could actually let her come into my room and hang with me

 **man with the memes:** esther wouldve ripped up my comics and snapped my records

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** see!!! tell keith this shit!! i know esthers a little bitch!! tell him this!! he doesnt know!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but lol tell them all auntie allura says hi and that i miss them i want to see them

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i know you mcclains all have a gc

 

**man with the memes to slayin mcclains → etchasketch, alevator, savanabanana (16:09)**

**man with the memes:** allura wants to say hi. she misses yall and want to see u. dk why cos ur all bitches but still

 **etchasketch:** HI ALLURA I MISS U 2222

 **savanabanana:** Hellooo Allura how are you doing! How is looking after our loser older brother? Thank you for making sure he doesn’t kill himself btw. Hope you’re well and that we’ll meet again soon sometime :))))

 **alevator:** Oshit Lura

 **alevator:** Is she on this chat now

 **alevator:** Yes she’s my favourite not Lance

 **man with the memes:** she isnt even related to us!!!!

 **alevator:** Brown skin blue eyes bitch plz she’s a McClain some way

 **man with the memes:** ale ur eyes are hazel

 **alevator:** U need to stfu ok

 **alevator:** Can u sit this weekend also

 **man with the memes:** no i am busy doing things

 **alevator:** Shut tf up liar ur having him on Thursday anyway!!

 **man with the memes:** is thursday a weekend? no one told me

 **alevator:** Just have him for the rest of the week it won’t be harrrrrd

 **alevator:** I’m Out this weekend

 **alevator:** And the girls have a birthday and are sleeping over

 **man with the memes:** wheres mama

 **alevator:** Ffs Lance just look after ur nephew

 **alevator:** He can even stay at the flat w u!! I’ll drive stuff over

 **alevator:** But NO SMOKInG

 **alevator:** Tell Allura to keep her goods upstairs

 **man with the memes:** omg ffs im just momentarily adding her here bc shes yelling up a storm for ignoring her and apparently i have a 5 year old for this weekend

**man with the memes added ill lure ya (to ur death)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** MY FAVOURITE MCCLAINS  (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 **man with the memes:** allura im on this chat

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** other than lance!!!  (Purple Heart )

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i was wondering when he was going to give up and add me. how are yall ! twins how is school!! u in ur final year now?

 **etchasketch:** thats right

 **savanabanana:** Yeah, we graduate next year.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds girls im so proud of u both!!!! u been doin admissions to colleges and stuff?? u wanna go the same place or different?

 **etchasketch:** ah lol i think we gon separate. bored of this hoe

 **savanabanana:** Likewise. I think I want to do something in the geography/science field, I’m still a bit undecided lol. Est wants to do fashion.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds ok i knew this was comin it happened with hikaru and kaoru its gonna happen to my baby girls too

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also wow thats so great sav! wherebouts u thinking of going? wbu est?

 **savanabanana:** I’m looking at a gap year volunteering abroad in an underprivileged area that I fundraise myself, and then the company I volunteer under pay for a chunk of my tuition fees in return. But Berkeley is my first choice

 **etchasketch:** lol allura ur so weird. and im dreaming of parsons but rt im gonna end up at community college lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont put urself down! i can deffo see u as a high flying fashion mogul in the big city

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** n wooow sav thats sounds intense?! but go for it if u want to do it!!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also how am i weird

 **savanabanana:** You make even more references and memes than Lance

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what kind of bullshit

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance makes the most references and memes wtf

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance do u try to act mature on this chat

 **man with the memes:** what no i act my damn self

 **man with the memes:** a mature and concise guy who Knows what hes About

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol okay who the fuck did u just describe

 **alevator:** LOL CAN WE KEEP HER ON THIS CHAT FOREVER

 **alevator:** She got to it quicker than all of us we should be ashamed

 **etchasketch:** allura has had what about two years of burning lance

 **etchasketch:** weve had our whole Lives

 **savanabanana:** We can’t be beaten. We must be the ultimate Lance roasters

 **man with the memes:** CAN WE NOT HAVE A COMPETITION OF WHO CAN ROAST ME THE MOST

 **man with the memes:** ILL LEAVE THE CHAT

 **etchasketch:** we dont care we have our favorite on the chat now

 **alevator:** No I care b!

 **man with the memes:** thanks ale

 **alevator:** Oh not about that about if ur alright to have Noah this weekend

 **alevator:** I mean even if u arent uv got him so

 **alevator:** He’s been asking about unkie Lance for the past week??? He wants to see u?????

 **man with the memes:** ffs i hate u ale u can bribe me to do anything with ur fuckin son

 **man with the memes:** ok fine friday to monday yeah?

 **alevator:** Lol long weekend Thursday to Tuesday  (Heart Decoration )(Heart Decoration )

 **man with the memes:** ale i work!!!

 **alevator:** Ahh Allura’s in the building. Hunk’s ur room mate. That skinny glasses kid is downstairs

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also keith ;))))

 **alevator:** whos keith

 **savanabanana:** Is Keith

 **savanabanana:** No he can’t be

 **etchasketch:** ALLURA

 **etchasketch:** IS KEITH THE NAME OF THE MYSTERY GUY LANCE HASNT SHUT UP ABOUT

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** OH MY GOD YOU HAVENT EVEN TOLD THEM HIS NAME

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** LANCE YOU ASSHOLE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** WHAT THE FUCK MAN IM GOING TO TELL HIM

 **man with the memes:** what man its not official!!!!!! also dont tell him pls i beg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds okay ur brother is trying to be Cool and Aloof now for some reason but he is in deep fuckin real like like with this guy he is Smitten ok

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** it might even be the L word

 **man with the memes:** lesbians?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shut up lance

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he wants to be cool and not ruin it and lance it up he even said so

 **alevator:** I mean this guy sounded so cool when Lance spoke about him what the fuck did he see in our brother

 **man with the memes:** i am a great guy

 **alevator:** Eh

 **etchasketch:** eh

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** eh

 **savanabanana:** Eh

 **man with the memes:** FFS IM LEAVING. IM GOING TO GO AND SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith will roast u too

 **man with the memes:** I MEANT HUNK

 **man with the memes:** GOODBYE

**man with the memes left the chat**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** how did we get him to leave his own family gc

 **etchasketch:** we are amazing

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** we so are

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay can this be our chat now

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** for Just Us Girls

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill update u on the shit ur bros getting up to and we can all have a laugh

 **etchasketch:** yes!!!

 **etchasketch:** allura ur the best

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol ok can i change the name and make it offish?

 **savanabanana:** Go for it

**ill lure ya (to ur death) changed the name to ‘top of the pops agony aunt column’**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** block 75 edition

 **alevator:** Lool aw i miss u Lura. Hang out with me I'm way cooler than Lance. Ur the only one that can keep up w me

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds ale ik all these weak asses. need my blaze buddy back

 **alevator:** Come and live here in Lance’s old room we don’t want Freddie we want u ur the better

 **alevator:** Wait what’s the gender neutral for aunt/uncle

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** there isnt one i dont think

 **alevator:** That’s fucken stupid also whatever basically we want Freddie to go and u 2 stay

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys i appreciate it but im not really family lol!

 **alevator:** U gots the blue eyes brown skin u’ll be fine

 **alevator:** It’s like the Weasley household if ya fit the red hair and the hand me down cloak bill ur in the fam

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol ill think about it ahaha

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** someone needs to stop ur bro from doing his typical lance shit here tho

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and the rest of the kids do need some sort of positive force in this building or theyre just gonna stew in their own negativity

 **savanabanana:** See allura this is why you're actually cool

 **savanabanana:** You don’t act it whatsoever but you do really cool things like that that remind us your like the glue that keeps everyone in that building together.

 **alevator:** They have Hunk tho !! He’s like sunshine

 **etchasketch:** that is true hunk is basically the sun

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shaes his moon omg romantic

 **alevator:** Fuck is he still w shae

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what yes ofc why!!! my otp dont hate!!

 **etchasketch:** lol no mom still wants one of us to marry him to keep him in the Family

 **etchasketch:** she wanted lance to marry u but understands ur way out of her sons league so didnt push it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds im cryin

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds if mumma marie wants me to be in the family i will happily hitch up w ur bro

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** if it means i get her food and girly nights with youse

 **alevator:** Allura ur gonna get that anyway don’t put urself through a life of pain with Lance when u could get it for free

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** loool aww ur bros actually the best

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** fun to drag but hes great. i would be lucky to end up with a guy like him

 **alevator:** He’s aight yeah

 **etchasketch:** dont push it lol

 **savanabanana:** They mean to say that ‘yeah, while he’s an idiot, he’s also the best guy ever and we wouldn’t be where we are without him’ so

 **etchasketch:** no lol i still think hes just aight

 **savanabanana:** Alright Est

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol ur all so cute

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im gonna go sort ur bro out cos hes havin a hissy fit lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill speak to u soon!!!!  (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 **etchasketch:** Have fun  (Two Hearts )

 **savanabanana:** See you  (Two Hearts )

 **alevator:** Bye b  (Heart Decoration )

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (16:33)**

**man with the memes:** keith save me i added allura to my family gc and now its just her and my sisters gangin up on me

 **man with the memes:** hunks the only one that cares abt me truly but hes more focused on his food and his girl than me

 **man with the memes:** if noah could work a phone and was on the chat he wouldnt let them do this to me

 **man with the memes:** hes the only one that loves me

 **gay in space:** wow that was a whole lot of info. but aw lol poor baby i care  (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

 **gay in space:** but why did you even add allura. in hindsight didn't that seem like a bad idea to you

 **man with the memes:** ale was forcing me into babysitting and they were talking like she was on the chat but she was laying down so i had to read them out to her and they were speaking so fast and i had to type my reply and allura kept telling me what to type and i couldnt be bothered

 **man with the memes:** my laziness is my downfall

 **man with the memes:** ive now left my own family chat because of the Abuse i was receiving

 **man with the memes:** also how do u and pig feel about pitching in to the Babysitting effort this longer weekend

 **gay in space:** what babysitting effort

 **man with the memes:** well as i was saying ale happened and i now have noah from thursday to tuesday

 **man with the memes:** she wont tell me what shes doing she just said Out

 **man with the memes:** so i think that means Out of state but i could be wrong

 **gay in space:** wow okay that’s a bit irresponsible

 **man with the memes:** ah whatever thats ale.

 **man with the memes:** idm i love noah and im excited to see him

 **man with the memes:** just he needs someone with him while im at work and stuff

 **man with the memes:** and im working this weekend so i think allura is gonna help out during the day but like im gonna put it on the chat see if everyone will Lend a hand

 **gay in space:** i mean i'm terrible with kids i've never actually met a child under 7 i dont think but i'll try my best

 **man with the memes:** aw bae thats all i could ask for

 **man with the memes:** dw ill be here and so will allura and hunk and we all know noah well

 **man with the memes:** i mean pig doesnt like kids either but i think he might have broken some of their defences because i saw them give him a hug last time they saw him so

 **man with the memes:** hes basically an angel dont even worry

 **man with the memes:** he was raised by me and im an angel so

 **gay in space:** you're definitely not an angel

 **gay in space:** can i ask or was that a slip up?

 **man with the memes:** um it was indeed a slip up

 **man with the memes:** i do not know if i am Ready to Share but i will let you know.

 **man with the memes:** meet noah first then i think it will be easier

 **gay in space:** i can do that. i'm excited to meet him

 **man with the memes:** im excited for you to meet him too lol

 **man with the memes:** are u nearly finished w work?

 **gay in space:** yeah. i've just got to pack some stuff away and jump under the shower then i'll be on my way over.

 **man with the memes:** want a drink waiting for u???

 **gay in space:** still too early for a kamikaze?

 **man with the memes:** allura says no so i think its okay lol. see u soon x

 **gay in space:** see you x 

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (16:56)**

**man with the memes:** allura add me back to the chat pls

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** too late the names already been changed

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** make a new slayin mcclains

 **pigwidgeon:** what kind of violation has occurred here

 **hunky dory:** Lance’s body is currently sprawled out on the floor with blood and shit everywhere while Allura and his sisters take photos and tweet about it

 **pigwidgeon:** so a normal day then

 **man with the memes:** i cant beleib this

 **man with the memes:** never let allura befriend ur relatives guys

 **pigwidgeon:** too late

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** *evil cackling*

 **meet matte:** i should be saying that. i’ve known her longer

 **pigwidgeon:** im in the building i get to say it

 

**man with the memes created the chat ‘get the agony auntie back’**

**man with the memes added gay in space, pigwidgeon and hunky dory (17:07)**

**man with the memes:** thats it ive had enough

 **man with the memes:** she meddles in our life enough we gotta step in and fuck around with her and shiro

 **gay in space:** i’m conflicted. i mean i so so want to

 **gay in space:** but on the other hand… it’s allura

 **gay in space:** and she’s older and she’s the one who meddles because she cares and that’s her. and her meddling does do us good in the long run

 **hunky dory:** I’m with Keith. I don’t want any part of this. I‘ve got my hands full with the other chat

 **man with the memes:** hunk noooo

 **hunky dory:** Sorry guys you’re gonna have to do this without mom

**hunky dory left the chat**

**man with the memes:** boo u whore

 **man with the memes:** n keith shes getting to ur head

 **man with the memes:** thats her trick

 **man with the memes:** she lures you into a false sense of security

 **man with the memes:** its all in the sceen name

 **man with the memes:** ur headin for death son

 **pigwidgeon:** what can we even meddle with. what do we have to work with

 **gay in space:** they do all their stuff at like 4am when everyone’s asleep. we all know he picks her up and she stays round his like more often than not

 **man with the memes:** whats going on hm

 **man with the memes:** pidge come on you must be bored with spying on us now

 **man with the memes:** you can join our team and we can let you in on all the dirt we know

 **pigwidgeon:** i know it all already. im the all knowing tea owl

 **man with the memes:** but do u tho…

 **pigwidgeon:** i do

 **gay in space:** i don’t think you know what we do kiddo

 **pigwidgeon:** keith you stay out of this

 **pigwidgeon:** i  know all of it. you guys are so noisy when youre in the flat. i can hear literally every word you say

 **gay in space:** i think you mean lance is noisy.

 **pigwidgeon:** i didnt want to single him out

 **pigwidgeon:** but yes i just get lances half of the conversation

 **man with the memes:** i have volume control issues ok

 **man with the memes:** dont shame

 **man with the memes:** but no you dont know what we know because our Secret chats are on text

 **man with the memes:** and im sure you dont hack our phones

 **pigwidgeon:** no i dont. i mean i could but i don’t want to see shitty memes and bad sexting. however you are correct in me being bored as fuck spying on you dweebs. youre boring

**gay in space:[romance is boring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqb5SkvkX9E)**

**man with the memes:** we have fun

 **man with the memes:** doesnt matter if its not fun to you

 **man with the memes:** so are you in?

 **pigwidgeon:** eh yeah why not

 **pigwidgeon:** ill see if allura can pick me up after my shift tonight and see what i can get out of her

 **pigwidgeon:** it will be nicer than getting the bus

 **man with the memes:** why dont you do that in the first place

 **pigwidgeon:** because sometimes i finish while shes still dancing and its out of her way and stuff

 **man with the memes:** lol pig she would backhand you if she heard you say that u kno

 **pigwidgeon:** i know 

 **man with the memes:** so is mission get the agony auntie back a go?

 **pigwidgeon:** it is indeed

 **gay in space:** ah what the hell. if i think of it in terms of getting shiro back i won’t feel bad. that douche lives to embarrass me

 **man with the memes:** thats the spirit keithy boy

 

**man with the memes created the group 'slayin mcclains ONLY'**

**man with the memes added alevator, etchasketch, savanabanana (18:10)**

**man with the memes:** ale can i get a reason for the sitting

 **man with the memes:** also i hate u all

 **savanabanana:** Love you big brooo

 **etchasketch:** hate u too xx

 **alevator:** If u say ull do it

 **man with the memes:** of course ill fucking do it you dont need to ask ive already said yes

 **alevator:** Lol u said that last time and blew up when I dropped him round

 **man with the memes:** BECAUSE IT WAS NEARLY MIDNIGHT!

 **man with the memes:** i need some forewarning

 **man with the memes:** but its not a problem i will always have him when i can you know that

 **alevator:** Thanks lil bro

 **alevator:** And me and the girls are going Dam!!!

 **man with the memes:** all of you?

 **alevator:** Lol fuck no u think Jen could keep up with me and Daz

 **alevator:** It’s just me Daz and Cal

 **man with the memes:** oh my god poor callie

 **alevator:** We’re gonna fuck her up so badd loool

 **man with the memes:** ur all evil friends

 **etchasketch:** i thought u said she was being iffy

 **etchasketch:** cos ill buy her ticket

 **alevator:** U ain't 18 sweetie n don't have money xx

 **alevator:** She's comin she's just bein cal lol 

 ** **alevator** :** N it’s all done out of love

 **man with the memes:** why u going?

 **alevator:** To fucken meet Peter van Houten and have a romantic weekend and bang a dying boy w one leg

 **alevator:** To do drugs u cock

 **man with the memes:** okay chill

 **alevator:** Okay

 **alevator:** U ruined it like u do most things

 **man with the memes:** john green hoe

 **alevator:** Lol whatever ty for havin him tell the kids ty too bc i know they’ll help out

 **man with the memes:** ur welcome u evil wench

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles )(Milky Way ) (18:25)**

**man with the memes:** ales going to fucking amsterdam

 **man with the memes:** i want to go to amsterdam

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** me too!!

 **man with the memes:** did she tell you?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah on the gc u left lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** she asked me if id been before

 **man with the memes:** have u?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah once me and all my girls back home turned 18 we went lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** such a messy weekend

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** me and ela stayed on for an extra three days lol

 **man with the memes:** lol how did you fund that cos i cannot even consider an option were you didnt go with at least half a grand

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ela paid for it all herself i dont even know how

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i bought my ticket with babysitting money and dad gave us a grand to get fucked on. i had about £300 in saved money too.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** it was a great weekend

 **man with the memes:** this is unfair

 **man with the memes:** i want to go

 **man with the memes:** why do all the girls in my life live their lives way better than me

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill take u when we both have funds b. show u the best cafes 

 **pigwidgeon:** lance everyone in your life lives theirs better than you i dont know why you just said the girls

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (17:34)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** andthentherewerethree....jpg

 **Space dad:** Allura please tell me you did not drink three bottles of prosecco by yourself.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** uM EXCUSE ME

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance helped

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well i mean he had a glass

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so did hunk

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shae had a bottle (my girl yes)

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keiths drinking it with me too

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so no i have not drunk three bottles by myself

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dw dw i have left the best bottle in the fridge for you. their name is kennedy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** when you back?? 

 **Space dad: I**  was meant to be off an hour ago, but we got a call in downtown so I think I'm going to be another hour or two at the least.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** :(((((

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i probably wont get a chance to see you then. enjoy kennedy for me

 **Space dad:** I will drink Kennedy in your honor 

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lool ok x

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** stay safe x

 **Space dad:** i will. you too. dont drink too much. x

 

**gay in space to man with the memes (20:00)**

**gay in space:** hey i know this is out of the blue, but you know my deal as to why i'm not in education

 **man with the memes:** yeah i do drop out

 **man with the memes:** rebel

 ** **gay in space:**** shut up lol i couldn't handle it

 **gay in space:** but you really seem like the kind of person who would thrive in college?

 **gay in space:** and like someone who really would've wanted to go?

 **gay in space:** so i guess

 **gay in space:** can i ask why?

 **man with the memes:** oh lol its fine dont worry

 **man with the memes:** yeah i didnt go because of noah

 **man with the memes:** i got into stanford on an unconditional offer for their physics and astronomy course

 **man with the memes:** i dont even know how lol

 **man with the memes:** i worked fucken hard

 **man with the memes:** where did all that motivation go lol

 **gay in space:** so you mean to tell me you didn’t go to the college of your dreams to study the course of your dreams because your sister got pregnant?

 **man with the memes:** well i mean yea

 **gay in space:** that so... i want to say amazing, but it’s also so amazingly You that just saying it’s amazing doesn’t do it justice.

 **gay in space:** what i'm trying to say is i'm thinking over it now and i can't imagine a single scenario where you actually left. and i really think you're an amazing person.

 **man with the memes:** oh i know babes dw

 **man with the memes:** i am the goddam most amazing person there Is

 **man with the memes:** ur really lucky i like u im amazing

 **gay in space:** why can't you let me compliment you without you taking it to the extremes lol

 **man with the memes:** sorry they make me uncomfortable lol

 **man with the memes:** so i gotta do my Thing of Talking Shit

 **gay in space:** why?

 **man with the memes:** idk

 **man with the memes:** i just Gotta

 **gay in space:** that’s cool. can i ask again about this at a Later Date?

 **man with the memes:** i think so but i wont be gd at talkin abt it

 **gay in space:** that's okay i'm not Good at talking about my shit too. but i want to get better and i want to do that with you

 **man with the memes:** me too babycakes

 **man with the memes:** did you know if you type that in on youtube you can watch a woman breastfeeding

 **man with the memes:** julie gamble told me that in fifth grade in it class when we had free time

 **gay in space:** did you watch the video lance

 **man with the memes:** im a curious person!

 **gay in space:** i can tell your weird kinks started at a young age.

 **man with the memes:** god u have no idea. sav used to make me proofread her fics because wed watch all our shitty animus together

 **man with the memes:** i didnt know if i should tell her off or congratulate her?

 **man with the memes:** she was a pure baby girl, never been kissed, an was literally Freakier than me

 **gay in space:** that’s slightly scary. i like hearing little bits about your family though

 **man with the memes:** do i speak about them a lot?

 **gay in space:** more than you realise

 **man with the memes:** oh god dont let them know that

 **gay in space:** lol i won’t. i’ll be too busy asking for embarrassing info from your sisters about you when you were 13

 **man with the memes:** oh my god no its not even funny there is so much dirt

 **man with the memes:** est would have a fuckin field day just showing you the stages of teenage me i was such a loser you will lose all respect for me

 **gay in space:** eh not much to lose

 **man with the memes:** like u wouldnt want shiro spreading photos of thirteen year old u

 **gay in space:** i have burnt all evidence that i was even alive before 2010. i'm a ghost on the system

 **man with the memes:** can i ask about your family?

 **man with the memes:** i mean if you dont want to thats cool too

 **man with the memes:** like i mean im not pressuring u or anything

 **man with the memes:** i love to speak about my family but i mean like if u dont want to u dont have to

 **man with the memes:** id just like to know something little if thats ok???

 **man with the memes:** i want to know more about u too like i feel this is pretty one sided

 **gay in space:** lol lance just ask me the question. you don’t need to tack on all the extra stuff. what do you wast to know? i'm not too interesting and i don't have a big family like you.

 **man with the memes:** what im not im just like explaining that if you dont want to then you dont have to

 **man with the memes:** i understand if youre uncomfortable because there is certain stuff i am uncomfortable with

 **man with the memes:** and i appreciate you didnt push it so i dont want to push it with you

 **man with the memes:** its called being caring and considerate of others try it sometime

 **man with the memes:** and idk i want to know everything like why dont u just tell anecdotes and stuff like a normal person i cant like ask u every question i just want u to tell me something stupid about ur teenage years?????

 **gay in space:** stop talking for a second. you’re being homophobic

 **man with the memes:** what how the fuck am i being homophobic

 **man with the memes:** im being considerate

 **gay in space:** gay and inconveniencing me. you ask me to tell you something intimate then you start insulting me? you’re so annoying sometimes.

 **gay in space:** and i don't tell stupid little stories because i can’t get a word in over all your bullshit.

 **gay in space:** i can‘t even remember what you asked now

 **man with the memes:** so me trying to be considerate of your feelings and talk to you on a mature level because i actually want to fucking get to know you is inconveniencing and annoying?

 **man with the memes:** how rude of me

 **gay in space:** no that’s not what i meant

 **man with the memes:** im the only one putting effort in here i stg i open up and share like personal stuff with u and u cant even tell me a little bit about ur life???

 **gay in space:** i’m trying to !!!! ffs !!! just shut up for one second !!

 **gay in space:** can you please chill out and let me speak?

 **man with the memes:** i dont even know why i fucking try like ur such a fucking ass

 **man with the memes:** i dont think i want to hear it tbh

**man with the memes is offline**

**gay in space:** you’re a fucking overdramatic prick

 

**pigwidgeon to lol when these dumb bois gettin together (20:43)**

**pigwidgeon:** keith just got up and stormed to his room guys any ideas

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ooo what

 **hunky dory:** Woah guys Lance just stormed out. He looked pissed

 **hunky dory:** Pidge man let me be the first to hit with the drama for once. I live with one half of Klance too

 **pigwidgeon:** sorry mom my owl eyes are always open to bring the tea

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol pid ur like the owl in avatar

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** the one with the library who knows ten thousand things

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** only u know Tea and are willing share

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur the better spirit bird in my opinion

 **pigwidgeon:** thank you thank you i do try my best

 **pigwidgeon:** okay so guys what are we doing

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well what do you think couldve happened

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they argue all the time

 **hunky dory:** Yeah lol. I'm sure Lance will call me in about fifteen twenty minutes asking me to pick him up crying wanting to apologise to Keith

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol that sounds like lance

 **pigwidgeon:** no i want to Meddle

 **pigwidgeon:** mom you said i could

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wait hold the phone guys

 

**gay in space to ill lure ya (to ur death) (20:46)**

**gay in space:** hey allura are you free?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes b whats up u ok??

 **gay in space:** uh. no. could you come down? i just

 **gay in space:** idk what i just want to Vent

 **gay in space:** and i need advice too so messaging shiro won’t really help here

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lool he isnt the best at advice is he

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its secretly because he has no fucking clue whats going on

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** n thats cool baby ofc ill come down

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** do u want me to roll a smoke?

 **gay in space:** yes please. if that’s ok

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah ofc i be 5 mins  (Purple Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to lol when these dumb bois gettin together (20:48)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay guys brb

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no meddling pig!!!!!!

 **pigwidgeon:** ffs mom what tell her you said i could

 **hunky dory:** Sorry kiddo Allura has more authority than me here

 **pigwidgeon:** what is this bullshit

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to gay in space (20:56)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im outside

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh okay pigos let me in

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they ask how u are

 **gay in space:** i’m ok lol.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im comin in yeah

 **gay in space:** that’s cool

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow keith clean up a bit you have gUESTS

 **gay in space:** shut up lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** do u wanna use text words or Real words?

 **gay in space:** um

 **gay in space:** not sure if Words are a thing yet. can we do text words?

 **gay in space:** i know its stupid that you’re right in front of me and stuff

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its okay bb dont need to explain urself

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** here u can spark in honour of initiating your first feelings jam

 **gay in space:** lol thanks

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so whats on your mind honey. how you feeling

 **gay in space:** uh. can we come back to that question please?

 **gay in space:** i dont know how i’m feeling just yet

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** that's okay

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wanna tell me what happened?

 **gay in space:** it was so stupid

 **gay in space:** like we were talking about family and stuff and i think i trod on a landmine or whatever because he flipped and got all over talkative and obnoxious like he does and he just sort of blew up at me

 **gay in space:** i mean i wasn’t nice but still i never really am. i’m the mean one and he’s the annoying one

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol true. so what do u want to do about it?

 **gay in space:** well i want to explain to him that i didn’t mean it how he took it and that i really care about him and stuff

 **gay in space:** but i also want to punch him for fuckin not listening to me like he has had my dick so far up his ass it’s come out of his throat he should care what i have to say

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow okay keith lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so. ur feeling guilty for upsetting him but also angry at him for upsetting you

 **gay in space:** what i am upset about

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** him not hearing ur voice or listening to u even though u have an intimate bond!!

 **gay in space:** i don't think i’m really Upset allura don’t go too far

 **gay in space:** let’s just stick with vaguely pissed for now

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol okay mr hardcore no feelings

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur angery at him for it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** who gets upset anyway???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** only nerds with feelings

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so where are we going from here?

 **gay in space:** well i mean it’s been nearly fifteen mins so i think lance is going to call hunk soon to come and pick him up from mcdonalds anyway

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** is that where he goes

 **gay in space:** i know him lol. he likes to people watch with a milkshake. and he gets free wifi

 **gay in space:** okay if i send him something mushy and nice maybe he’ll pick me up a strawberry milkshake

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith no!!!

 **gay in space:** you can't stop me you’re not my real mum

 

**gay in space to man with the memes (21:11)**

**gay in space:** hey i know this isn’t our first fight but its our first one i’m taking seriously and everything i’m saying to you is coming out wrong because i don’t know how to make words come out properly most of the time so here listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyBn8N0ShUg) shitty emo song and get back to me. i'm sorry  (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (21:15)**

**man with the memes:** hey i want to hear the rest of your wannabe hardcore secretly mushy skater boy punk that makes u think of me send me the rest of that playlist  (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

 **gay in space:** i can't stand you

 **man with the memes:** sit down then

 **man with the memes:** i got you a milkshake too.

 **man with the memes:** sorry i was an ass

 **gay in space:** is it because you’re still mad at me so you want me to suffer or because you heart me and want me to be happy with my favourite thing?

 **gay in space:** and apology accepted sorry i was an ass also

 **man with the memes:** a bit of both

 **gay in space:** i can deal with that  (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

 

**man with the memes to hunky dory (21:16)**

**man with the memes:** hunk bro please come get me

 **hunky dory:** I’m in the car already. You held out longer than I expected

 **man with the memes:** i have wifi i couldve spent Hours here

 **man with the memes:** keith sent me a mushy apology though so i gotta come home and give him a smooch

 **hunky dory:** Wanna tell me what happened?

 **man with the memes:** hes just so good at all this shit he takes it all in stride and i didnt think hed be the one comforting me and asking me all the deep meaningful questions

 **man with the memes:** i thought id be the one listening to all his actually tragic backstories but ???

 **man with the memes:** idk if its cos he doesnt want to or if im not giving him a chance?

 **man with the memes:** i thought it would be like pulling teeth for him but it isnt? he actually said he likes it????

 **man with the memes:** i guess it scared me then he started being rude and i just blew up cos that how i am when i dont know how to Deal

 **man with the memes:** i dont even know what i just know i dont want to argue with him anymore weve done so much of that already over pointless shit

 **hunky dory:** Maybe that’s something to work on?

 **man with the memes:** yeah probably lol

 **man with the memes:** add that to the ever growing list

 **hunky dory:** Loser. Give me ten and I’ll be with you

 **man with the memes:** see u soon  (Blue Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to lol when these dumb bois gettin together (21:23)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys yall dont even understand im so proud of these kiddos

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith initiated his first feelings jam today! such a big step!

 **pigwidgeon:** is that what you brbed for

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** o course keith took top priority

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** sorry guys but my Space son gotta come first

 **pigwidgeon:** is he ur Space son??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well hes the Space gay cousin

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and im the auntie

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so i guess???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** or is he a Space orphan too u gonna do that to him?? no give him Space parents

 **pigwidgeon:** lol alright. can you tell us or is it Intimate?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** na he didnt really say A Whole lot

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** just some dumb fight and lance speakin too much and keith not enough i think

 **hunky dory:** Lance gave me a run down on the way back, they were talking about family and he got worried because Keith is better than him at awkwardness and feelings apparently?

 **pigwidgeon:** i really doubt that

 **hunky dory:** I think Keith was just oblivious to the situation and didn’t realise how stressed certain things make him. Ale and Noah were probably what they were talking about.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** does keith know the Drama there?

 **hunky dory:** Don’t think so. If today is anything to go by I’d be really surprised if he did

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** whatever hopefully they are talking it out and doing dumb stupid shit like they do

 **pigwidgeon:** theyre probably memeing

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah thats true

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they do love to meme

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to pigwidgeon (21:45)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** pig do u need a lift to work??

 **pigwidgeon:** um if you dont mind?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh ur so annoying of course i do not

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** u ready?

 **pigwidgeon:** give me five minutes to sort everything and ill meet you outside?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** sound good! cya in a mo

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (22:12)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** @ new soul #relatable

 **man with the memes:** true but isnt that too soft for u

 **gay in space:** yeah i thought you only listened to music with at least 3 bass instruments

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol shut up sleigh bells only has like two

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and i stalk all of ur spotifys

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shae was listening to it earlier and i was bored

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** none of yall are safe

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith i liked the new one u added to ur pining playlist

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** the one thats like dooooooom dundudndundundundund doooooooom

 **gay in space:** wtf i dont have a pining playlist

 **gay in space:** also what the fuck

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh okay so ur playlist titled '[you're driving me fucking crazy](http://8tracks.com/sevencamel/you-re-driving-me-fucking-crazy)' thats filled with mushy skater boy punk isnt totally a pining playlist about lance

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and the one thats like oh its yooooooooooou

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wowow its always yooooou

 **gay in space:** ffs why didnt you say that first? thats way easier to recognise lol. i always knew. its by the vaccines

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats it

 **man with the memes:** what dude u dont need to pine no more im with u

 **gay in space:** ah okay whatever fuck you allura its more of just a playlist of songs that make me think of you. because you do drive me fucking crazy

 **gay in space:** are you happy you evil meddling woman you

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw keith ur so adorable i cant even

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance ur so lucky

 **man with the memes:** ik  (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

 **gay in space:** omds okay im gonna leave this chat

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith ill turn this car around goddamn

 **man with the memes:** keith is this the playlist the song came from

 **gay in space:** oMG ALLURA YOU SO FUCKING DID THIS ON PURPOSE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what me no not ever

 **man with the memes:** IT SO IS OMDS

 **man with the memes:** quick where the fUCK is his laptop

 **gay in space:** allura you're actually the worst

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** (Purple Heart ) (Purple Heart ) (Purple Heart ) (Purple Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to pigwidgeon (22:15)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey sweetie what time you off?

 **pigwidgeon:** 3

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw cool okay i might be able to get out earlier because its a slow night lol. want me to drive down to you?

 **pigwidgeon:** if you get out earlier then sure. if not don't worry, i'll get the bus.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no you will get the bus down to me if ur getting any buses

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** stop fighting the lifts pigo

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** gotta make sure my baby birb kid is getting places safely

 **pigwidgeon:** allura i do really appreciate the lifts but im not an incapable child 

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i know you arent and i definitely dont think you are

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** let me be fussy though

 **pigwidgeon:** lol alright. see you soon, stay safe.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** you too bb (Purple Heart )

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (01:18)**

**man with the memes:** woooooah

 **gay in space:** what?

 **man with the memes:** no doubt you look so fine

 **gay in space:** thanks?

 **man with the memes:** wooooah

 **man with the memes:** girl i wanna make you mine

 **gay in space:** wait no

 **man with the memes:** wo wo wo woooooah

 **gay in space:** oh my god no fuck you

 **man with the memes:** mySTERIOUS GIrl

 **gay in space:** blocked

 **man with the memes:** I WANNA GET CLOSE TO YOU

 **man with the memes:** WOWOWOWWAHHH

 **man with the memes:** MYSTERIOUS GIRL

 **man with the memes:** MOVE YOUR BODY CLOSE TO MINE

 **gay in space:** i’m going back downstairs i don’t want to share your bed tonight

 **man with the memes:** shut up u love it  (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (02:07)** **

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey shiro im on break so i feel like i just have to send u a dumb message. u home?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also can you even believe those fricken boys today

 **Space dad:** I am always here for your break time messages. Yes, I got back at about midnight. What happened?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh no i forget you arent on the klance gc

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** why arent you lol

 **Space dad:** Because I'm too mature to fangirl.

 **Space dad:** And Keith's my little brother, so I still need to beat the shit out of Lance for defiling him. I can't condone the group chat, much less be on it.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lool awww protective big bro shiro

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** basically they had ministrife about emotions because keith doesnt share and lance overshares and because theyre still bad at Communication things got messy?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but it was over in like half an hour and now they are just being normal

 **Space dad: T** hat's good to hear. Not that they argued, but that they sorted it quickly.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol yeah they are growin up :')

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance is SO overdramatic tho still

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** poor keith

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he doesnt know what the fuck to do most of the time

 **Space dad:** Would you know what to do if you were dating Lance?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and lol no i wouldnt. props to keith like he hasnt killed him yet thats a start

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also have u been home did u like kennedy??

 **Space dad:** I’ve been home, but I haven’t had the chance to have any yet.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well im driving pig home but i can swing by if you'll still be awake?

 **Space dad:** I most probably will be.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well then i guess well just have to pop open kennedy then, wont we?

 **Space dad:** I suppose we’ll have to. No other option, really.

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(03:13)**

**man with the memes:** hey does anyone have any dank memes

 **pigwidgeon:** lance its 3am

 **man with the memes:** ur awake arent u

 **pigwidgeon:** arent you with keith? why dont you talk to him?

 **man with the memes:** hes asleep

 **man with the memes:** notgoodcompany.jpg

 **man with the memes:** my goosh were cute

 **pigwidgeon:** wow conceited much

 **man with the memes:** shut up pig we are both Good Looking guys

 **man with the memes:** why arent u Recharging

 **pigwidgeon:** because im at work. well, just finished my shift

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys ffs move this to a private chat

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur annoying me. phones buzzin away in my bra not cool

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pigooo am in the car driving down now jus chill for uno momento

 **man with the memes:** good allura you will have dank memes

 **man with the memes:** send me some so i can laugh

 **man with the memes:** my feed isnt great atm

 **man with the memes:** just loads of makeup vids and diy masks

 **man with the memes:** not that im complaining? but i want some memes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im driving!!! one hot sec !!!!

 **man with the memes:** quick time quick time

 **man with the memes:** dont die tho

 **pigwidgeon:** yeah then i wouldnt have a ride home

 **man with the memes:** pig we all know allura is Objectively your favorite

 **pigwidgeon:** i dont have favorites. i tolerate you all the same

 **man with the memes:** hey alluras my favorite ill admit

 **man with the memes:** i mean keiths my FAVORITE but

 **man with the memes:** and hunk is my Favorite

 **man with the memes:** yeah i chat shit i dont have a favorite i love u all sm

 **pigwidgeon:** gay

 **man with the memes:** stop bi erasure

 **pigwidgeon:** its not good to have favorites anyway.

 **man with the memes:** yeah because then you end up in like a sophies choice sort of deal 

 **pigwidgeon:**... no you dont?

 **man with the memes:** its a metaphor come on pig ur smart

 **pigwidgeon:** allura please hurry up i cant take this bullshit alone

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol im round the corner

 **pigwidgeon:** i see you

 **pigwidgeon:** okay one sec im on my way over.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** alright b

 **man with the memes:** yay ok allura come on hit me with the dank

 **man with the memes:** im like a junkie i need my fix

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh if i send you some will u go to sleep

 **man with the memes:** yes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok

**ill lure ya (to ur death):[lolthisispig.jpg](https://pics.onsizzle.com/this-poor-girl-is-only-6-months-old-and-already-2615993.png)**

**pigwidgeon:** allura i have a lung problem do not joke about it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** asthmatic who smokes okay be quiet baby bird

**ill lure ya (to ur death):[thisismebutreverse.jpg](https://img.ifcdn.com/images/97c211bf832aba4331fe281ec0c019d5a79cff84afb2f2f351eff3a5031072a5_1.jpg)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im angery without the marjiona

 **man with the memes:** lol same

 **pigwidgeon:** not relatable

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yh ik i just like doggo memes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok last one

**ill lure ya (to ur death):ifeellikethisisachatidhavewithlance.jpg**

**pigwidgeon:** lance im pretty sure weve had that chat

 **man with the memes:** so sue me

 **man with the memes:** i like memes

 **man with the memes:** my sn says that about me

 **man with the memes:** i do not shy away from the meme love

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** how is the supposed man with the memes ASKING for memes huh

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** this is lies. u are the man without the memes

**ill lure ya (to ur death) changed man with the memes nickname to man without the memes**

**man without the memes:** um considering you just gave me memes i am now a man with memes?

 **man without the memes:** so

**man without the memes changed their nickname to man with the memes**

**man with the memes:** dont be a hader

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** haderz back off

 **man with the memes:** allura like i know its sad but can we pls watch the movie together. i dont even care if its terrible the bar is so low for this film

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i thought ud never ask

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** now go to sleep  (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 **man with the memes:** night  (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

 

**pigwidgeon to get the agony auntie back (03:37)**

**pigwidgeon:** i have tea already god damn im good

 **pigwidgeon:** shes on her way round to shiros to drink kennedy, the bottle she saved for him

 **pigwidgeon:** i didnt get much else but hey its tea

 **man with the memes:** ugh we cant meddle from here

 **pigwidgeon:** we can annoy them both by texting and making it awkward?

 **man with the memes:** no u know what im too tired and meddling isnt my reason for waking up in the morning like it is for u and lura

 **man with the memes:** we can pick it back up after i have caught much needed zs

 **man with the memes:** try n sleep pigo

 **pigwidgeon:** i will. night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry guys we will hear about keith too. i just really wanted to write the sister squad lol.  
> also this chapter is super long and i didnt even mean it to be so i guess sorry that i will probably not be able to keep up this kind of word count ever,,


	2. its a night lance wont remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pigwidgeon: did you tell him he couldnt do it  
> gay in space: i might have said that he wouldn’t be able to in a roundabout way?  
> ill lure ya (to ur death): yeah that was your first mistake   
> ill lure ya (to ur death): dont ever challenge lance to anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays everyone hope u enjoyed this festive season!!!! and if u didnt im sorry but hopefully these kiddos getting up to bullshit will cheer u up x

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (10:43)**

**man with the memes:** okay guys! this thursday to tuesday we are having my nephew noah at the flat

**man with the memes:** hunk sorry just told you but hey what u gonna do its me

**man with the memes:** you love noah its fine

**man with the memes:** so anyway we are going to have an under 5 y/o in our presence for six days

**man with the memes:** this means no drugs no alcohol and no swearing in the flat

**hunky dory:** Lance you’re the one who does all that stuff

**man with the memes:** i mean all of this for me to!!!!!

**man with the memes:** im being Responsible lance so Irresponsible lance and reread over this and remember!!

**hunky dory:** Lol okay whatever floats your goat dude

**man with the memes:** also im going to need some help

**man with the memes:** what with work and all that junk

**hunky dory:** Dude I'm happy to help but I'm working during the week and on Sunday.

**man with the memes:** have an uncle hunkle day w him on sat then he will be so happy

**hunky dory:** Lol I will don’t worry.

**man with the memes:** ok then sunday is an auntie allura day

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill work hard on sat and i will spoil him

**man with the memes:** allura stop you always get him so much shit

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but everythings so tiny and he looks so dapper!!!

**man with the memes:** she does like baby modelling shows with this kid

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lookathimtho.jpg

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg please can i enter him in a pageant

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes so beautiful 

**man with the memes:** allura no!!!

**man with the memes:** okay this is coming together guys! 

**man with the memes:** i have a shift on tuesday but hopefully ale will have him by then

**man with the memes:** if not keith pig come on hes already had his other two aunt and uncle days?

**pigwidgeon:** theres no gender neutral for aunt or uncle so really i am nothing to the kid and shouldnt interfere in his life

**man with the memes:** piggo i know u like him

**man with the memes:** ive seen u hug him

**man with the memes:** and tell him about ur code

**pigwidgeon:** objection give me receipts

**pigwidgeon:** no receipts no proof

**man with the memes:** lol okay pig is probably going to help out in their own lil weird piggy way

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** they arent a pig theyre a birb 

**man with the memes:** a pigbirb

**pigwidgeon:** actually im the All seeing eye

**pigwidgeon:** gender of the day

**man with the memes:** anyway we are getting off of topic

**man with the memes:** keith u workin on tues (Blue Heart )

**gay in space:** um i might have morning class but i'll check the rota?

**man with the memes:** ur a babe

**man with the memes:** okay im putting him in the maybes

**gay in space:** no i have evening. i can hang with ur nephew

**man with the memes:** omds keith ur not Hanging with my five year old nephew ur taking Care of him

**gay in space:** eh same difference. i'll take him out on the bike i’m sure he'll enjoy it

**gay in space:** i wonder if they do helmets to fit his head size

**gay in space:** ah whatever i'll drive carefully

**man with the memes:** KEITH YOU ARENT ALLOWED WITHIN FIVE EXACT FEET OF MY NEPHEW

**gay in space:** lol relax i'll just watch adventure time with him or something

**man with the memes:** keith is that because you think he likes adventure time or because you want to watch adventure time

**gay in space:** it’s fUcking ending okay don't even shame me it’s one of the best shows out there

**man with the memes:** and gravity falls?

**gay in space:** don't even talk shit okay that is the best goddamn show ever. i like cartoons you like anime this is why we don't work

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow okay how do u two even start war over cartoons/anime they are basically the same thing

**gay in space:** wHAT THE FUCK

**man with the memes:** whAT THE FUck alLURA

**gay in space:** i thought you have my back in this did we not watch six seasons of at together

**man with the memes:** um lol me and allura watched the whole of fma brotherhood

**gay in space:** i think adventure time’s longer

**man with the memes:** wanna bet

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay yall need to stop why you being so feisty

**gay in space:** we don’t mean it

**man with the memes:** i do

**gay in space:** lance go find someone else to hang with

**man with the memes:** i dont really mean it

**gay in space:** i do

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys ur fuckin ridiculous and i want yall to shut up right now because we were planning to have a Child come and stay with us and ur actin like this

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** why u ackkin so cray cray

**gay in space:** LOL yes alluras on my side fuck you lance

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** adventure time is longer :( sorry b X

**man with the memes:** im fuckin done

**man with the memes:** fuck it im taking the week off of work

**man with the memes:** i cant trust none of yall

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** stop stop stop lance

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we are going to be fine

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** noah is gonna have a Brilliant weekend

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he wont want to leave 

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (11:02)**

**man with the memes:** lol keith on monday considering im Not working

**man with the memes:** me and noah are gonna come to ur class

**gay in space:** i can't let a five year old join in my spin class

**man with the memes:** keith ya got women who are about to bust a hip in that class and you lettin them jive all willy nilly

**man with the memes:** come on they wont mind they love me and they will Love him even more

**gay in space:** if i get complaints i'm blaming it all on you

**man with the memes:** i can deal w that (Blue Heart )

**man with the memes:** are u working or will u be here when ale is?

**gay in space:** i’ve got the afternoon classes

**man with the memes:** so you wont be

**man with the memes:** ok is it bad to say im a little relieved

**gay in space:** no it’s okay. i am a bit too

**man with the memes:** lol okay we can put off officially meeting my crazy ass siblings for now

**man with the memes:** well burn that bridge when we get to it

  
**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (12:34)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey i know it might be too soon but a dj i know whos really good is gonna be at raff tonight and i think we should go. dont let the other week spoil our experience. 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also we cant go out this weekend because child

**man with the memes:** what dj

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** remember ida?

**man with the memes:** oh shit!! 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** exactly!!

**gay in space:** ida?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its so weird you dont know like anyone keith

**gay in space:** no you just know everyone

**gay in space:** and before i was here lance tagged on to you like he does to me, so that’s why he knows everyone

**man with the memes:** thats true tbh

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so are u down?? ida is so lovely i promise and shes such a good dj

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the event is guest list only too so there will only be good people there

**man with the memes:** i have no moooooney

**man with the memes:** but i want to cooome

**man with the memes:** how much is entry??

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like $5 its calm

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** predrink to hell my boy

**man with the memes:** there is some sambuca left from the other night….

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** when the fuck did you buy sambuca?

**man with the memes:** keith bought it because he actually likes aniseed but he left it here and said he couldnt finish it without being sick

**man with the memes:** can i have it b

**gay in space:** yeah but do you even want it?

**man with the memes:** eh its alcohol ill drink it

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont drink it now 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** drink right before u leave then it will hit you while ur out

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we are gonna meet at yates before though bc its across the road and two for one cocktails

**man with the memes:** keith whatever happens do NOT let me spend my last ten dollars on pornstar martinis

**gay in space:** i’ll try my best

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** who else???

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro i know ur not working tonight

**Space dad:** Is it a crime for me to want to relax on my night off?

**gay in space:** crime never stops shiro

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its my night off too!!! dont be boring come on

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dance with me tonight plssss

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u never come out with us

 

**gay in space to get the agony auntie back (12:41)**

**gay in space:** he won’t say no because its allura asking i bet anything to anyone right now

**man with the memes:** i bet you bottoming for the next week

**gay in space:** done

**gay in space:** wait shit no

**man with the memes:** too late lol

**pigwidgeon:** youre both as gross as each other

 

**Space dad to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (12:43)**

**Space dad:** Fine. But only so you can never use the excuse that I don’t go out with you all again.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yayyayayayayayayayayaay (Party Popper )(Party Popper )(Party Popper )(Party Popper )

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its a party

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the whole family

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so excite

**meet matte:** not the whole family.  i am here

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** MATTY THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS PLANES TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES

 

**gay in space to get the agony auntie back (12:45)**

**gay in space:** told ya

**man with the memes:** we all couldve seen that coming babe

**man with the memes:** even a stranger on the gc couldve guessed that hed fall prey to the wily temptress’ slippery ways

**man with the memes:** i look forward to the fulfillment of our bet ;)))

**gay in space:** keep it pg there are children on this chat

**pigwidgeon:** usually id kick up a fuss here but yes please keep it pg or move it to a private chat

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (13:56)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i wanna watch yuri on ice i keep seeing it on my dash and it looks so pretty

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and theres a canon healthy gay couple and theres no chance of one of them being killed off (i think) 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so like??? i think this is my kind of show

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance im assuming you watch it because you keep up with all this Shit

**man with the memes:** omg allura no watch it

**man with the memes:** youll love it

**man with the memes:** vikturi is the Best ship

**man with the memes:** we were born to ship vikturi

**man with the memes:** the fangirls are kind of gross and fetishise it but yeah

**man with the memes:** the show is so worth watching its beautiful and amazing 10/10 would recommend

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** of course youve watched it lance 

**man with the memes:** no i swear

**man with the memes:** watch it it is better than free!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur joking

**man with the memes:** the exclamation points dont lie

**man with the memes:** they have more therefore better

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lies ur lying

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** my swimming sons will not be replaced

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i didnt watch yowa or haikyuu no Sportime will compare

**man with the memes:** u really missed out

**man with the memes:** yowapeda was amazing

**man with the memes:** haikyuu was even more amazing

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance ur such a weeb its so gross

**man with the memes:** i cant help it okay

**man with the memes:** i have free time sometimes and i just end up marathoning a show. im like pig i dont actually sleep im just too busy binge watching to text.

**gay in space:** can confirm. he doesn’t shut up though. he talks the whole way through whatever he’s watching 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is it still airing

**man with the memes:** na it finished like a few days ago

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeS sweet will marathon when i have the time

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so bad with keeping up lol have to wait till its stopped airing

**man with the memes:** but then u miss all the susPENSE and MEMES

**man with the memes:** save maccachin 2k16

**man with the memes:** episode 10 changing my entire view on life, cleansing my pores and healing my tar black soul

**man with the memes:** jealous viktor

**man with the memes:** drunk yuuri

**man with the memes:** smol kitty yurio

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** do any of you know what hes talking about

**gay in space:** vaguely

**man with the memes:** shut up keith

**man with the memes:** he watches it with me

**man with the memes:** hes such a liar hes a yurio fanboy

**man with the memes:** angry russian kitten

**man with the memes:** hes basically teenage keith but blonde and russian and not allergic to cats

**Space dad:** He was blonde as a teenager.

**man with the memes:** wHAT

**Space dad:** Didn’t you know? He bleached his hair himself when he was 14 but it went a bright yellow orange sort of colour. Not his best look.

**gay in space:** SHIRO I SWEAR 

**gay in space:** IS NOTHING SACRED

**man with the memes:** I NEED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith hearing about baby you is my favourite thing

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what more sacred teenage keith goss have you got that u can spill

**Space dad:** Oh no. Only one embarrassing fact per day.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith is this why you dont touch your hair anymore

**gay in space:** ahah not even. i still cut it myself and stuff, i just can’t be bothered to actually go and buy bleach and dye and do it

**man with the memes:** yeah we can tell u still cut ur own hair babe

**man with the memes:** u also need to trim ur bangs

**man with the memes:** theyre at ur lip

**man with the memes:** i sneeze when i kiss you its like uv got a stache 

**gay in space:** least i have hair X

**gay in space:** i’ll have a shower and trim them when i get out. pig do you know where the scissors are?

**pigwidgeon:** probably in the drawer with all our other kitchen utensils, the first place one would look.

**gay in space:** alright sassy

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (16:37)**

**man with the memes:** keith ur hair

**man with the memes:** what did u do oh my goood

**man with the memes:** i dont know if i should laugh or cry

**man with the memes:** MY BAE LOOKS LIK EMY BABY SISTER UGH GROSS

**gay in space:** I FORGET MY HAIR CURLS OKAY 

**gay in space:** it will grow out my hair grows quickly

**man with the memes:** i cant even look at you this is so weird

**man with the memes:** you look like you should be listening to melanie martinez and have a babydoll collar on

**man with the memes:** i dont even think i can smooch u u look too much like esther

**gay in space:** i’m usually really good with the length idk what happened

**gay in space:** is it really that bad? do i hat it until its grown out?

**man with the memes:** no lol im just being me. 

**man with the memes:** u look as amazing as u always do but a lot younger and a lot sluttier????

**gay in space:** oh my god lance

**man with the memes:** im sorry im sorry

**man with the memes:** dw ur still an 11/10

**man with the memes:** true test of a relationship

**man with the memes:** will u still love them even when they have a ‘not ur average 16yo’ front fringe

**man with the memes:** hey now uve got the fringe why not just literally become noodle

**man with the memes:** youre pretty much there already

**gay in space:** if youll get me stripy thigh highs i promise to do a plastic beach look

**man with the memes:** i am on it my guy

**gay in space:** … i feel weird about you calling me that?

**man with the memes:** lol yeah its like calling you bro

**gay in space:** i wanna suck your dick so bad bro

**man with the memes:** i wanna make u scream my name bro

**gay in space:** i wanna make u see stars when u cum bro

**man with the memes:** and after all the hot sex i wanna spoon u soooo bad bro

**gay in space:** bRO

**man with the memes:** BRO

**gay in space:** yeah that was weird let’s never do that again

**man with the memes:** idk i kinda enjoyed it

**gay in space:** i’m blocking you

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (20:22)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** can we all try to be ready for 9  pleaaaase

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance am looking at you

**man with the memes:** am dressed and ready 2 gooooo b

**man with the memes:** already started drinkin!! i found some jd for pre pre drinks lol

**man with the memes:** oHh my god guys have u seen keiths fringe yet

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what no oh my god

**man with the memes:** he cut it too short this morning loool

**man with the memes:** buymepizzaandslapmyass.jpg

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith u look so cute oh my god

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** !!!!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i love it

**hunky dory:** It kinda suits you, man.

**gay in space:** thanks lol. its actually a lot more manageable than my bangs because i can actually see and there isn’t hair in my eye every time i move.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u look like esther though ngl

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol lance how u feelin bout that

**man with the memes:** okay allura im trying to get that thought out of my mind can you not say it 

**man with the memes:** ive already Dealt with that now we are going to Ignore it for the sake of my sanity

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** loOOL im so putting this on the gc

**man with the memes:** no sTOP

**man with the memes:** i cant believe u have an actual gc with my sisters

**man with the memes:** and i was partially the reason said gc was created

**man with the memes:** @past me why do u hate urself sooo much

**man with the memes:** who hurt you

**meet matte:** lance regretting life decisions is so funny to watch but it’s so often it become a sad sort of funny that you don’t know if you should laugh at or not

**gay in space:** no just laugh he lives for validation

**man with the memes:** its tru 

**man with the memes:** i live for the applause

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to top of the pops agony aunt** **column (20:29)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** est keith has a fringe like u now and its killing lance quick jump in on it

**etchasketch:** wait what is lance being gross

**alevator:** When isn't he

**savanabanana:** Hold up do you have photos of Keith??

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes of course

**savanabanana:** !!!!!!! 

**alevator:** SEND THEM !! NOW !!!!!

**etchasketch:** WHAT THE HELL ALLURA HURRY UP WITH THE GOODS

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oH MY GOD YOU GUYS HAVE NEVER SEEN KEITH WHAT THE HELL

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** HAVENT YOU EVER CHECKED LANCES FACEBOOK

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** HIS INSTAGRAM

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** HAVE YOU JUST BEEN UNDER A ROCK FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS

**etchasketch:** he saw a tagged post of me on mandy and went mad so i blocked him in 2014 and have never turned back. it has changed me as a person.

**alevator:** Yeah I don't like him seeing what I'm up either he's blocked on my insta too. I have him on fb but I don't fuck w it. It's just the profile I give at job interviews and shit.

**savanabanana:** I mean I don't really use mine??? But I think I have him on my ig. I'm a tumblr girl I know you hate it but that's me

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** fuck the tumblr ao3 gen that is all

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** bring back the good old days of lj and ffn

**alevator:** Halla (Person Raising Both Hands In Celebration ≊ Person Raising Hands)(Person Raising Both Hands In Celebration ≊ Person Raising Hands)

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok this is ur bro and his boo

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** cutiesorwhat.jpg

**savanabana:** whAT THE UFCK

**alevator:** yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**etchasketch:** ahahah he is soooooo savs type

**alevator:** DANG LANCE MY BABY BROS GETTIN IT

**savanabana:** Hes sO HOT WHAT  THE FUCKING FUCK

**savanabana:** OH MY DAYS LIKE FUCK LANCE BUT fUCK, LANCE

**etchasketch:** i mean i am very very gay as we all know but like hell id bang hes so pretty

**etchasketch:** and he doesnt look anything like me you chat shit we just have a similar looking fringe

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah but we can make lance feel awkward and uncomfortable

**etchasketch:** lol yeah he looks exactly fuckin like me lance is so gross i hope he thinks of me farting on his face as a kid when he goes to kiss him next

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** did you do that often?

**etchasketch:** it was a hobby of mine. 

**etchasketch:** one time i got him real good yeah so i run into his room and im cryin and im like lancey lancey my bum hurts so much please help im in so much pain and i jump on him with my butt to his face and pull my pants down and he shoots up out of the bed and i fart exactly at the right moment and it literally vibrates along his cheeks it was aMAZING. 

**etchasketch:** most glorious moment of my life so far. 

**etchasketch:** really feel like i hit my peak there i havent got anyone that good in a while

**savanabana:** Lol and you wonder why he only used to hang out with me

**etchasketch:** lol please i didnt want to hang out with that loser i actually had friends

**savanabana:** (Narrator: she was bitter)

**etchasketch:** shut up lil sis

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol no twin beef here

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im putting all this on the main gc i hope u know

**alevator:** Lol tell Keith if he ever gets fed up of Lance and dick in general he can look me up

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (20:44)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** esther said ur gross AF and that keith ur really cute and she likes ur hair 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** twinsies

**gay in space:** thanks esther i like your hair too???

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also this little gem was shared

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** storytimewest.jpg

**man with the memes:** I HATE THIS FAMILY

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lololololol love uuuu

**gay in space:** wow

**gay in space:** i want to give esther so many high fives tbh. i think we’re going to get on great

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** loool shes like a more social pidge u will 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** full of depressing jokes and cynical one liners

**pigwidgeon:** she tags me in existentialist and marxist memes on instagram shes alright in my book

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** pig what you speak to people other than us???

**pigwidgeon:** no. she just tags me. i tag her in stuff back

**pigwidgeon:** its a tentative kinship built on communism and nihlism

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** alright edgelords dont let me get in the way

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ANYWAY u two are ready?? wanna get going soon

**gay in space:** as we’ll ever be

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** sweet ok im NOT drivin lol fuck that

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunky u takin the van??

**hunky dory:** I’m at work and I’m picking shae up from campus on the way back, so we won’t be ready in time if you want lifts. We can meet you outside the club if you all want to go get cocktails?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shae u didnt reply earlier!! i didnt know u were coming!!!

**real slim-shaedy:** i am sorry! i was in class when you were all talking and it wasn’t until i spoke to hunk later that i confirmed i would come along. i hope it is not an issue?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** of course not lol its okay dont apologise am excited to see u !!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i didnt think idas style would be ur type tho so it wouldnt be a night for u if ygm???

**real slim-shaedy:** aha i understand what you’re saying lol! i cannot say i would sit alone and vibe to her tracks but i enjoy a few of them. one of my dorm mates is one of ida’s friends and she helps with some of the mixes so her music is always playing somewhere. also, a group may come down too! you can meet the people i spend nearly as much time with you all lol.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw yay cute im excite

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but still God damn it that means walking

**pigwidgeon:** allura yates is a ten minute walk at the most

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** sTILL

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok well im gonna have a smoke and then pig u want to walk down?

**pigwidgeon:** yeah sure. if i give you the money will you get me my drinks for the night?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh shit b ur gonna need an id to get into the club?!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wheres mattys?

**meet matte:** pidge do you still use my id? that’s so weird. i still can’t get over how young you are sometimes.

**pigwidgeon:** id be an adult if we were in alluras end of the pond

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** tru say baby

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also matty drive thru those approximately fifteen states and come party with us 

**meet matte:** you know i would if i could

**pigwidgeon:** got the id were good

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** sweet ill be five then ill come down. unless you want to come up for tokes?

**pigwidgeon:** is that even a question

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i love how we are all so lazy that we will spend our days texting each other even though we are all in the same building but as soon as tokes are mentioned we all have the energy of 10 thousand oxes

**meet matte:** *oxen

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oxes sockes sit on foxes

 

**gay in space to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (21:12)**

**gay in space:** guys i don’t think lance is going to get in

**gay in space:** lancevsstairs.mov

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my goood

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance baby u can do it

**pigwidgeon:** wow when did this happen?? we left like half an hour ago?

**gay in space:** we finished the little bit of jd, so he decided to do all of the sambuca in consecutive shots

**gay in space:** he did like 15

**gay in space:** i didn’t even get one

**pigwidgeon:** did you tell him he couldnt do it

**gay in space:** i might have said that he wouldn’t be able to in a roundabout way?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah that was your first mistake 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont ever challenge lance to anything

**gay in space:** i know that!! it wasn’t even a challenge it was me being concerned for his fucking liver’s welfare

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lool okay do you think you can get down to the bar or do you want to wait for hunk and shae?

**gay in space:** he might sober up if we walk down. i’ll see you in a bit

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to lol when these dumb bois getting together (21:57)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** o shit look at lance

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** gornson.mov

**pigwidgeon:** loool keith looks so confused. please screenshot that and make his face a meme and the new gc icon

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so on it

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** poor boy has never secured a whine

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** how the fuck can he still move like that

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes so wasted

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so jealous

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (22:08)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death) changed the group chat icon**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hisassiswhere????.jpg

**gay in space:** i hate u sm allura

**gay in space:** sort him out he’s not getting into the club at this rate

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol ill get him some water and take him outside for some air

**gay in space:** godspeed woman

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (22:31)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we ready to dip? whole squad here?

**pigwidgeon:** Zooted and booted

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats what i like to hear kiddo

**hunky dory:** We’re ready when you are?

**real slim shae-dy:** yes i’ve just got the last of my drink to go but that will only take me a second.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dOWN IT!

**real slim shae-dy:** downed lol.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** YES SHAE

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** love ma shae

**Space dad:** I’m just finishing my drink can you give me a minute?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oi shae downed her drink so are u old timer

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u got better eyeliner than me tonight the least u can do is do everything i say for this absolute violation

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like chill for one hot sec im supposed to be the makeup queen here can we just give me this please im not good at a lot

**real slim shae-dy:** you look as beautiful as always allura and your eyeliner is sharp enough to cut a bitch

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shae ur my favourite tbh and u look as radiant as the moon as usual

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro is ur drink downed

**Space dad:** It is indeed downed

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** gd man

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay thats 5/6

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keithy baby where are ya

**gay in space:** sorry was taking a leak. yeah i’m good to go but i’m doing shots when we get to this fucking club.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u broke the seal so soon?? And yES babe im on it

**gay in space:** i haven’t even drunk anything lol

**gay in space:** i completely missed out on prinks thanks to some asshole and then didn’t even get my two for one because same said asshole got upset he didn’t have a drink

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol he couldve got his own

**gay in space:** but then he would’ve gotten two which is way more than he needs

**gay in space:** and he’d be flat broke which would be more pain for me because he wouldn’t stop complaining about it and why am i explaining this to you

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw keithy caaaaares

**meet matte:** he… does have a heart

**gay in space:** MATT YOU’RE NOT HERE DON’T GET INVOLVED

**meet matte:** i’m always lurking kiddo

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** higH FIVE ME TOO (Person With Folded Hands ≊ Folded Hands)

**meet matte:** (Person With Folded Hands ≊ Folded Hands)

**gay in space:** how is the asshole

**gay in space:** not that i care

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** looool keith im with him hes ok i think hes just stumbly and giggly he be fine 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he hasnt fallen yet idek how hes like a weeble

**pigwidgeon:** a … what?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** a weeble??

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** you know?? the little toys that looked like eggs with people on them?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** weebles wibble and they wobble but they dont fall down??

**meet matte:** i had them!!

**meet matte:** i got u babe

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** love (Purple Heart )

**Space dad:** I know what ones you mean. The song is ringing a bell.

**pigwidgeon:** oh my god allura youre SO OLD

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god pidge youre SO YOUNG

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** WHY ARE YOU EVEN OUT WITH US YOURE LIKE 12

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** GO TO BED KIDDO ITS WAYYY PAST UR BEDTIME

**pigwidgeon:** be careful with all your dancing tonight you might bust a hip

**gay in space:** OH SNAP

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its ok bb dont be snippy give it a couple more years and you may finally hit puberty and get what all this angry front bullshit means xx

**hunky dory:** Okay this is getting too passive aggressive. Everyone exit the bar and regroup at the benches. Allura are you guys near there?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol yeah lance is trying to walk along one

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i guess i should stop him but hes just having so much fun

**hunky dory:** STOP HIM. We don’t need another night to end up in a trip to the A&E

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to gay in space (22:54)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith are u sure u dont want us to wait outside with u??

**gay in space:** no it’s ok you go in i’ll sit out here with him for a bit. he might sober up. hopefully.

**gay in space:** or not

**gay in space:** shitden.jpg

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is that puke

**gay in space:** no it’s unicorn blood

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wHY IS IT BRIGHT ORANGE

**gay in space:** cocktails got him?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** fuck okay hunk and shae and pidge have already paid entry

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** want me to drive you home? im alright i havent drunk much 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** or shiro? he hasnt paid yet

**gay in space:** it’s okay allura you guys enjoy your night

**gay in space:** i got him here somehow i can get him back. i’m fine i’ve only had one drink

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** are you sure?

**gay in space:** yes yes yes. don’t worry about us just go and have fun

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay text me as soon as you are home alright x

**gay in space:** i promise x

 

**gay in space to ill lure ya (to ur death) (23:39)**

**gay in space:** we’re home x

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow that took so long

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i was about to text you to see if youd forgotten

**gay in space:** no no. lance just kept laying face down on the floor throughout the journey when he got tired. i had to piggyback him for the last half.

**gay in space:** i had to tell him that he was going to breakout from all the germs if he did it again

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lool aww u guys

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay get him a glass of water, put something comfy on, roll a jay and cotch xx

**gay in space:** okay will do mum

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith i love that u correctly use us 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** fuck these americans and their improper u use

**gay in space:** lool alright allura enjoy your night span class="x2764">(Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** you too kiddo (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 

**gay in space to Space dad (00:13)**

**gay in space:** shiro help me lance is crying

**Space dad:** Why? What did you say to him? Also, have you gotten home?

**gay in space:** nothing!!!!! i just got him into bed and now he’s kicking off and he’s like choking on his sobs and i don’t know what to do how do i help him

**Space dad:** Get him a bowl incase he’s sick. If he’s choking it might trigger his gag reflex.

**gay in space:** already got one

**Space dad:** Well done ahaha. Just comfort him. He’s only drunk crying. Do you even know the reason?

**gay in space:** um i think i asked him if he could roll or if he’s in too much of a state? and he started crying and saying sorry and i kept laughing because tonight has been like one hilarious trainwreck and then he started crying more??

**gay in space:** now he won’t sit on the bed

**gay in space:** okay now he’s laying with his body off of the mattress but his head on it???

**gay in space:** tHISISNOTHOWABEDISUSEDLANCE.jpg

**Space dad:** Ahaha, I’m sorry but I think you’re just going to have to give him a cuddle and let him cry it all out. Don’t stress yourself, it’s probably over nothing.

**Space dad:** We’re only a phonecall away if something happens. I’m fine to drive, so is Hunk.

**gay in space:** okay thanks shiro. enjoy your night. let me know if you pull

**Space dad:** Not all of us can pull for the night before we even get into the club, kiddo.

**gay in space:** not much of a pull when your date is drunk off his ass crying and won’t get into bed with you

**Space dad:** ;)

 

**gay in space to ill lure ya (to ur death) (00:53)**

**gay in space:** allura um i don’t know if it is my place to ask but i’m worried now and lance hasn’t stopped crying for the past hour and i think you’ll know why???? or be able to make sense of him

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** r u shoving drunk lance on me keithy boy

**gay in space:** no no lol. unless you want him?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** am good thanks b

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** whats the drama queen mopin over

**gay in space:** he’s been saying some stupid shit about us which i’m not going to get into

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** no get into it i want the dirt

**gay in space:** no because i’ll get angry at him because it’s all bullshit

**gay in space:** but he’s really upset about his sister? he keeps yelling and swearing in spanish and i keep hearing alejandrina’s name but… yeah. 

**gay in space:** is this the bullshit we got into the argument over the other day? am i wrong for asking you? should i let him tell me?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ahhh

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok baby 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u arent wrong for asking me and i know uve done it out of care rather than just wanting to know tea

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** make the fucker a coffee with double creamer and three sweeteners cos he hates coffee 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wait u at his?

**gay in space:** no we’re at mine

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay just a coffee then he gon have to stop bein a pussy

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** just let him sober up. hes vomited all the fuckin alcohol out of him anyway. nicely decorated the streets outside the club. 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh yeah also just fyi if hes crying really badly he has the tendency to start to gag because he forgets to breathe and chokes on his sobs and stuff so if he starts heaving dw nothing will actually come up just rub his back

**gay in space:** ugh don’t even remind me. i’m bad with sick. and thanks, i was wondering if he was dying or some shit. i’ve got him a bowl just in case.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** least u didnt have to hold his hair back

**gay in space:** true. never an issue with him

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and idk what ur mad at him abt but if its his shitty self esteem thats just him. its all bullshit but he wont believe it. not yet anyway.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** give him some time

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ask him about ale if u want to know

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im sure he wont have an issue talking to u about it. 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he really wants u to know him and wants to know u even more

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes a sucker for emotional intimacy

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so tell him something about u in return

**gay in space:** like what? i’m not interesting and i don’t have a huge family and loads of stories to tell

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol u could tell him about your favourite nursery rhyme and he would probably start tearing up about the sentimentality. hes easily pleased

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** it just needs to come from u innit

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he wants to hear ur story from u. same way u need to hear this from him

**gay in space:** i know

**gay in space:** thanks allura (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** np babyboy hope lance stops being a drunk chickenshit (Purple Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space Family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (03:49)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** round up round up kids time to hit the ground running and get the hell outta dodge

**pigwidgeon:** why do you try to fit so many different phrases into one mess of a sentence

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its fUN

**hunky dory:** Have we got everyone?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the boys are home, we have a Responsible one, a mumma, a beautiful mom girlfrien, and a pidge

**pigwidgeon:** we also have an annoying and drunk auntie

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats true !!!!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** into the vehicle !!!

**pigwidgeon:** youre the only one not in, allura. also how the hell did you type vehicle this drunk i can barely spell it sober

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the fuck u mean i am seated at present. and you wouldnt belieb how useful the little predictive text box is.

**pigwidgeon:** after five minutes of effort. can you not handle your drink in your ageing years?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** watch it pig!

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to gay in space (03:54)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith u still up? has lance sobered up yet?

**gay in space:** hes asleep lol.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** why arent u 

**gay in space:** thisiswhy.jpg

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aWWWWW

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** precious!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also lol haha youre like a body pillow

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg ur basically a living emo haru bodypillow no wonder he loves u sm

**gay in space:** i am not haru. i am so rin

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u look nothing like and act nothing like my shark son. u both just like red

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur like haru and rins child!!!!!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also pidge asks if uve locked up pls take door off of latch and deadbolt

**gay in space:** i literally can’t move allura

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is the door deadbolted

**gay in space:** i’m not sure

**gay in space:** i think so

**gay in space:** i do it by muscle memory if i’m the last through the door

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its ok me and pig will have a favourite birb kid night if so

**gay in space:** morning. and i thought i was your favourite

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** whatever n ur my fav emo son !!

**gay in space:** lol alright. let me know when you’re back i’ll probably still be up

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** will do

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to gay in space (04:16)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we home !!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol ur asleep arentcha

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ah get some rest b hope u sleep well (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 

**pigwidgeon to ill lure ya (to ur death) (04:18)**

**pigwidgeon:** allura the door wont open

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith said he might have locked up

**pigwidgeon:** i mean the one time they actually listen to me has to be now of course. can he not let me in? 

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol no look at his current predicament

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keithorharubodypillow.jpg

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also think hes down for the count lol

**pigwidgeon:** ew. affection

**pigwidgeon:** can i come up?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah course hon i already said u could (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we can 4:20 but imma conk after lol

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u can fuck around on my laptop if i fall asleep on u and u get bored x

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** try to rest tho

**pigwidgeon:** thanks allura. im on my way up 

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (04:32)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** thanks for the lift back x

**Space dad:** It’s no problem. Are you all in safe?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk n shae r downstairs in the love nest

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im with piggot bc keith is trapped under drunk and emotional lance and cant unlock the door lol. also am assuming hes asleep because have had no replies from him

**Space dad:** Ahaha he’s definitely enjoying it way more than he’s letting on.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh i know. poor lil gay baby he prolly ready to internally combust

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** are u in yet?

**Space dad:** Just got in.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok good. sleep well shiro give smokey a cuddle from me (Purple Heart )

**Space dad:** You too. Smokey sends her love <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading!


	3. its a family outing with actual biological family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man with the memes: thatsnotreallyyoursissykid.mov  
> ill lure ya (to ur death): omds thats so precious im gonna die  
> hunky dory: Guys it’s kind of embarrassing that you got more excited than us, her actual family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT DEN WHOS WATCHED THE TRAILER FUCKIN KLANCE ARE NAKEY AND PIDGE IS A BADASS BUT SHIRO AMIRITE OR AM I RITE??????//??
> 
> heads up hella feelings  
> keith will be open and emo too i promise lance is just an oversharer lol

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (06:08)**

**man with the memes:** keith what the fuck

 **man with the memes:** shit why am i at the foot of your bed and where the fuck are you what the fuck happened ln

 **gay in space:** woah calm down

 **gay in space:** i’m on the toilet chill

 **gay in space:** i’ve been busting for a piss for ages but you fell asleep on top of me and you only just rolled over

 **gay in space:** and you’re at the foot because you were very drunk last night and wouldn’t let me get you into bed

 **gay in space:** do you remember?

 **man with the memes:** i dont really remember anything after the bus journey

 **gay in space:** we didn’t get a bus lance

 **man with the memes:** woah what the fuuuuuuck

 **man with the memes:** shit how much did i even drink

 **man with the memes:** this is so Not like me

 **gay in space:** well we hadn’t even left the flat before you’d drunk two jd and cokes the last of the sambuca.

 **man with the memes:** ah shit

 **man with the memes:** i dont even drink sambuca what the fuck

 **gay in space:** i know. your eyes kept watering with every shot and i kept telling you you didn’t have to do it but you’re fucking stubborn

 **gay in space:** you wouldn’t even let me take one

 **man with the memes:** im sorry

 **man with the memes:** was i bad

 **gay in space:**...lance you didn’t get let into the club

 **gay in space:** please tell me you remember that

 **man with the memes:** hoLY FUCK I REMEMBER nOW

 **man with the memes:** OH MY GOD

 **man with the memes:** KEITH BABY IM SO SORRY

 **man with the memes:** IM SUCH A MESS

 **gay in space:** lool it’s okay. just don’t make that kind of drinking a habit because i don’t think your liver will thank you for it

 **gay in space:** it was funny. i knew you weren’t getting in when we were leaving the building

 **gay in space:** lancevsstairs.mov

 **gay in space:** you’re not even in heels, which is a bit of a let down

 **man with the memes:** i wouldve broken so many bones last night if i was in my heels

 **man with the memes:** okay so i remember the prinks, going to yates before for two for one… oh shit you didnt let me drink two pornstar martinis did you

 **man with the memes:** i told you not to let me spend my last ten dollars!!

 **gay in space:** lol i got it for you dw. not that you needed it, you were just upset because everyone had one but you.

 **man with the memes:** keith ur soooo romantic and ily

 **man with the memes:** im so sorry u had to deal with this shit

 **gay in space:** stop apologising. i had a good night x

 **man with the memes:** ok x

 **gay in space:** you were really funny to be honest

 **gay in space:** your body becomes even more flexible somehow and you just look like a puppet on strings just bouncing and swaying everywhere you walk

 **gay in space:** i don’t even know how you managed to stay vertical.

 **man with the memes:** i cant believe myself lol

 **man with the memes:** i havent been that drunk since i was like 17

 **man with the memes:** this is Embarrassing

 **man with the memes:** im not even hungover but that may be because im still drunk

 **man with the memes:** did i do anything else? i didnt get into a fight or anything did i

 **gay in space:** are you known to be an aggressive person when drunk?

 **man with the memes:** no but idk like some guy might have been looking at you funny and i tried to swing for them in my drunken haze

 **gay in space:** you in fact did not do that. but you did make it pretty clear that i was going to be spending the night with you and only you

 **man with the memes:** sorry

 **gay in space:** of all the things you’re apologising for pleeeease do not apologise for that

 **gay in space:** the only one i wanted to be with was you too x

 **gay in space:** maybe allura because she can move and keep up with me and i would’ve actually have gotten to see the dj set but still

 **man with the memes:** so after i got turned away at the door... how did we get back? did allura drive us?

 **gay in space:** no. we walked. i carried you for more than half.

 **man with the memes:** MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

 **gay in space:** for someone so slim you're fucking heavy

 **man with the memes:** its all my muuuuscle

 **gay in space:** your six pack of ribs you mean???

 **man with the memes:** WE CANT ALL BE RIPPED LIKE THE FUCKING ROCK OKAY

 **man with the memes:** WE ARENT ALL GYM FREAKS

 **man with the memes:** also hurry the fuck up are u poopin or what

 **gay in space:** honestly i’m just chillin at this point

 **gay in space:** i finished like ten mins ago

 **man with the memes:** come back to beeed then

 **gay in space:** i will i will

 **gay in space:** i’m taking it you’re not remembering the events once we got home right?

 **man with the memes:** thats right

 **gay in space:** okay well

 **gay in space:** um

 **man with the memes:** oh shit what did i do

 **man with the memes:** fuck did i fuck up

 **man with the memes:** im so so so sorry keith

 **man with the memes:** what the fuck did i say

 **man with the memes:** please im so sorry whatever i said just ignore past drunk me hes fun but hes also an asshole dont trust him

 **gay in space:** calm down calm down it’s okay nothing bad

 **gay in space:** i just want to make sure you’re okay

 **gay in space:** you were crying a lot

 **gay in space:** and said some stuff

 **gay in space:** and if you want to speak about it you know i’m here to lend my ear and shoulder

 **man with the memes:** euRGH im so sorry you had to see emotional lance

 **man with the memes:** okay whatever i was crying about was probably bullshit so please dont worry about it

 **man with the memes:** im just one of those people who struggle to Let Go

 **man with the memes:** i bury the hatchet but i remember where

 **gay in space:** what??

 **man with the memes:** i mean i am assuming i was bitching about ale

 **man with the memes:** because one shes a bitch and two she is usually who i get upset about

 **man with the memes:** also you know shes like dropped a five year old on me all of the sudden

 **man with the memes:** fUCK

 **man with the memes:** when is noah coming round???

 **gay in space:** lance babe its like 6am

 **gay in space:** hes not here till midday

 **gay in space:** and yes it was ale.

 **man with the memes:** dont worry about it ok

 **man with the memes:** i mean theres a long history there and i mean its just so long to get into

 **gay in space:** if you don’t want to get into it it’s okay. just cuddle up and go back to sleep

 **man with the memes:** ah im not tired anymore

 **man with the memes:** not now anyway

 **man with the memes:** cuddle me but we can talk

 **man with the memes:** can i type though

 **man with the memes:** my words may end up like the babble i was spilling yesterday and we dont want a repeat of that

 **gay in space:** but i won’t be able to read my phone if we’re cuddling?

 **man with the memes:** we are now

 **gay in space:** not really

 **man with the memes:** um objection i be the little spoon and u can just read over my shoulder

 **man with the memes:** also one arm around me one hand on ur phone??

 **man with the memes:** keith its like u dont want to

 **gay in space:** i do i do. okay switch positions see if it works

 **man with the memes:** u good?

 **gay in space:** i hate typing with one hand

 **man with the memes:** but its working

 **gay in space:** yeah that’s true. okay go on tell me all about your sister

 **man with the memes:** what is there to say shes a bitch but i love her

 **man with the memes:** lol she always hated me growing up

 **man with the memes:** the twins too

 **man with the memes:** she hated everyone tbh

 **gay in space:** why?

 **man with the memes:** we werent her real family

 **gay in space:** oh, you mentioned she was your half sister.

 **man with the memes:** yeah, shes my dads daughter from a past marriage

 **man with the memes:** he married young on grandmas say so

 **man with the memes:** so it wasnt like

 **man with the memes:** love i guess

 **man with the memes:** and then they had alejandrina

 **man with the memes:** and then my dad left them for a while

 **man with the memes:** and he met my mom

 **man with the memes:** and they had me

 **man with the memes:** and then the twins

 **man with the memes:** they didnt marry and it wasnt an issue? until it was

 **man with the memes:** they had been engaged since i was four

 **man with the memes:** they just didnt have the money or the time and he wanted to give her the most special day he could

 **man with the memes:** then all of a sudden we were all in school and dad was earning money and ale was over on weekends and they were going to have the wedding!

 **man with the memes:** then something happened with ales mom and then she came into the picture like properly and my mom went mad because yknow just ales mom isnt the nicest of women and made life hell

 **man with the memes:** and my mom left because it was making her ill and she needed some time away from dad with all of the lies and everything

 **man with the memes:** so then it was me ale pa and the twins and none of us knew how to live without her then ale got pregnant and

 **man with the memes:** its was awful

 **man with the memes:** pa had never cooked in his life

 **man with the memes:** the washing machine was like trying to work alien technology

 **man with the memes:** it was chaos for a while and i did my best to do step up and stuff

 **man with the memes:** ale wasnt going to because thats her

 **man with the memes:** shed spend most of her time out or at a boyfriends or friends or whatever

 **man with the memes:** dad would do his best but hed drink so much

 **man with the memes:** the twins would just be annoying and complain about how i was a shitty version of mom

 **man with the memes:** they sort of knew what was going on but just ignored it

 **man with the memes:** they didnt even have a relationship with ale until they were like 15

 **man with the memes:** when ale grew up a bit too

 **gay in space:** wow

 **gay in space:** so when did she move in with you? and why?

 **man with the memes:** her mom has bpd n isnt good at handling things like a bratty teen along with it

 **man with the memes:** and she doesnt like to admit it so ale would spend weeks with us when she went off her meds and stuff

 **man with the memes:** she was always there but she didnt become permanent till she was like 14

 **man with the memes:** mom welcomed her with open arms of course and did whatever she could to make her feel at home

 **man with the memes:** but the stress from it all n the lies n the pressure of an extra moody teenage girl who would do whatever she could to make her cry

 **man with the memes:** i haaaaaaated her for so long with how she treated mama

 **man with the memes:** i knew why of course

 **man with the memes:** but im a mommas boy and i hold my hands up and say i think my mom is the most wonderful person in the world

 **man with the memes:** to ale shes the reason she didnt have a family

 **man with the memes:** she didnt realise that we were her family too at the time

 **man with the memes:** im still v bitter lol

 **gay in space:** you’re allowed to be. i’m still bitter about terry curtis.

 **man with the memes:** whos he

 **gay in space:** some fucker who stole my red mecha lion toy when i was nine.

 **gay in space:** shiro took me round to his house to get it back but the asshole broke it and shiro wouldn't let me fight him in his house. his mom baked me a pie to apologise.

 **man with the memes:** keith do u know that i am gonna think about a nine year old you trying to fight a kid in his own house in front of his mom probably for the rest of the day

 **man with the memes:** maybe even the week

 **gay in space:** so your mom left when?

 **man with the memes:** lol my smol angry baby

 **man with the memes:** ale was 17 nearly 18, i was about to turn 16 and the twins were preteen, so coming up for 12

 **gay in space:** you were really young

 **man with the memes:** yeah

 **man with the memes:** i didnt feel it lol

 **man with the memes:** i felt sooo mature

 **man with the memes:** looking back on myself its like wow i was like younger than pidge

 **man with the memes:** and pidge is like the youngest person ever

 **man with the memes:** ale was too young too

 **man with the memes:** like she found out a week or two after her 18th about noah

 **gay in space:** can i cash in on that question now?

 **man with the memes:** oh lol about college? yeah i guess. ur meeting him today anyway

 **man with the memes:** i mean ale’s my big sis and i love her no matter how much of a cunt she was

 **man with the memes:** mom was in australia and dad was juggling keeping the twins alive

 **man with the memes:** she couldnt do it alone and the guy wasnt there for her

 **man with the memes:** so i went to appointments with her, bought her supplements and that shit, baby stuff, all that junk.

 **man with the memes:** she didnt appreciate it at first

 **man with the memes:** even after noah was born she was still bad at it

 **man with the memes:** being motherly and stuff

 **gay in space:** why didn't she have an abortion? not to sound heartless but if she wasn’t ready and you were using your college fund, wouldn't you have had enough?

 **man with the memes:** she never did tell me why lol

 **man with the memes:** she wouldnt have one though

 **man with the memes:** i asked her

 **man with the memes:** i told her id pay and that id take her and stuff

 **man with the memes:** im glad she didnt

 **man with the memes:** noah is the light of all of our lives

 **man with the memes:** hes the golden child

 **man with the memes:** hes perfect

 **gay in space:** does she ever speak about his father?

 **man with the memes:** no

 **man with the memes:** never

 **man with the memes:** well

 **man with the memes:** shes not mentioned him to me

 **man with the memes:** hes on the birth certificate i saw her writing stuff

 **man with the memes:** i didnt catch the name though

 **man with the memes:** but she shut up like a clam when i asked her and hit me

 **man with the memes:** so she knows who it is and stuff.

 **gay in space:** if he left her why would she put him on the birth certificate? she’s related to you, i would’ve thought being petty would have been in your genes

 **man with the memes:** i dont think he left her because she was pregnant

 **man with the memes:** she didnt know she was for a long time lol

 **man with the memes:** it wasnt until i made her take a test that she found out

 **gay in space:** lol what

 **man with the memes:** shed been being sick every morning for two weeks and told me she had a stomach bug

 **man with the memes:** ninguna manera la hermana

 **man with the memes:** so yeah. i dont think he left her

 **man with the memes:** she went a bit crazy before we found out

 **man with the memes:** it wasnt strange for her to go out and not come back till midday the next day

 **man with the memes:** but shed leave for the weekend and not come back till midweek

 **man with the memes:** she looked so ill and she wasnt eating much

 **man with the memes:** she looked terrified when she saw the test. she just cried to me for half an hour about how shes done five tequila shots the night before

 **gay in space:** was noah okay??

 **man with the memes:** well i mean hes deaf but

 **man with the memes:** yeah shit i forgot i didnt tell you

 **man with the memes:** he has aids and hes so smart so he can speak really well

 **man with the memes:** golden child as i say

 **man with the memes:** honestly you wouldnt even know it

 **man with the memes:** but if he takes them out he wont understand you

 **man with the memes:** like he cant read lips properly yet

 **man with the memes:** just grab me or hunk because we can sign

 **man with the memes:** lura knows a little

 **gay in space:** really?

 **man with the memes:** yeah i mean i learnt first with hunk because hes been my day one since forever and he was here for all of this

 **man with the memes:** and we taught lura little bits for when noah used to be round every weekend

 **man with the memes:** oh yeah if hes crying for no reason like hes not hungry or hurt or anything it might be his aids because if things are too loud they hurt his ears

 **man with the memes:** turn them down or just take them out

 **gay in space:** lol okay this is a lot of information. how comes i’ve never met him if he used to come round so often?

 **man with the memes:** it was before you moved in

 **man with the memes:** he was round a lot because ale was being ale

 **man with the memes:** shes having a good spell at the moment though, shes working a 9/5 and shes really trying with the girls and noah and mom and dad

 **gay in space:** can i get an explanation?

 **man with the memes:** she just has bad months

 **man with the memes:** she isnt someone who is good at being tied down and having responsibilities

 **man with the memes:** shes really not mother material

 **man with the memes:** she likes to take off for a while to clear her head every now and then

 **man with the memes:** she drove to cali once on a whim. she dropped him down to me on the way at like 10pm

 **gay in space:** what the fuck

 **man with the memes:** yeah thats my sister

 **man with the memes:** its her coping method i cant fault her

 **man with the memes:** its better she makes herself okay

 **man with the memes:** because if she isnt then he definitely wont be

 **man with the memes:** i love looking after him and shes been doing really well recently

 **man with the memes:** and im glad she trusts us to look after him

 **gay in space:** she’s very lucky to have you

 **man with the memes:** try telling her that lol

 **gay in space:** she really is. imagine if you didn’t step in. where would they both be now?

 **man with the memes:** i shouldnt get all the credit lol. she changed in herself

 **gay in space:** you’re great

 **man with the memes:** stop

 **gay in space:** you are (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

**man with the memes:** so are you (Blue Heart )

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (08:37)**

**man with the memes:** what did we miss last night

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** the set was so good

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they played eVERYTHING

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** a song for each of us literally

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and ida was so nice she got us all a round of tequila so we drunk in ur honour

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** she asked about you lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ‘vere is ur littul puppy friend? the vun who vuld not shut up?’

 **man with the memes:** oh my god you didnt tell her did you

 **man with the memes:** also why are u awake

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its me

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** of course i did

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** nd pid stayed here i couldnt sleep so weve just been up. blazin.

 **man with the memes:** nooooooooooo how could u

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** she teared up she was laughing so hard

 **man with the memes:** i can never show my face at raff again

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol i told her that we are coming back next week

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shes got another set

 **man with the memes:** nonono i cant

 **man with the memes:** stop pushing your crazy wild raver life on me allura my skin and bank account cant hack it

 

**man with the memes to get the agony auntie back (08:46)**

**man with the memes:** im sorry i asked what we missed ln on the wrong chat

 **man with the memes:** let me rephrase

 **man with the memes:** what meddling came of last night? pid dont let me down

 **pigwidgeon:** i think this image sort of sums the whole of last night up in terms of shallura if im honest

 **pigwidgeon:** icouldkillyouinfifteendifferentwayswithmyprosthetic.jpg

 **man with the memes:** okay i know this is meant to be funny and all but shiro looks so hot in the photo like oh my god i cant belieb i got myself so wasted that i couldnt even enjoy shiro in fitted pants and shirt

 **man with the memes:** but lOL allura doesnt care i dont even think shes aware of those gross dudes in the back

 **man with the memes:** uno if me and keith were there this wouldnt have happened bc wed be the ones dancing behind her and punching everyone in the face if they came too close to her

 **gay in space:** lance how would you feel if i said this about your sisters?? also true

 **man with the memes:** worried because im pretty sure ur gay???

 **man with the memes:** lol sorry bb ur way hotter than ur bro and i like u way more too

 **man with the memes:** not that shiro is not one of my main men and all

 **pigwidgeon:** lance its so funny to watch you dig yourself into these holes i love it

 **gay in space:** same. i don't even care i know shiro’s the hotter brother. i just like to set the traps.

 **man with the memes:** UM I SMELL SMOKE

 **man with the memes:** BECAUSE SOMEONES PANTS ARE ON FIRE

 **man with the memes:** I DEFINITELY HAVE THE HOTTER BROTHER

 **gay in space:** eh i mean according to allura your uncle is the hottest so im not sure i have the hottest mcclain but thanks

 **pigwidgeon:** if youre doing it according to allura youre definitely not the hottest brother keith

 **gay in space:** i can live with that

 **man with the memes:** okay now that is settled

 **man with the memes:** i came here for tea goddamn it

 **man with the memes:** while the photo is humorous

 **man with the memes:** did they not really dance together?

 **pigwidgeon:** they did. allura is just nonstop and isnt the kind of person to stop grooving even if she isnt dancing with anyone

 **gay in space:** we know

 **pigwidgeon:** i think shiro left to get drinks of whatever and it was like vultures to a carcass

 **man with the memes:** wow yes pid talk about our extremely lovely and extremely beautiful best friend like she is an old dead animal

 **pigwidgeon:** then shiro just sort of came back and i got the photo and then all of the guys just sort of parted like the red sea and didnt come back after

 **gay in space:** loool go bro

 **man with the memes:** go shiro !!! get that sexy stripper lady !!!

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (10:15)**

**man with the memes:** with child in t minus 45 minutes

 **man with the memes:** open all the windows air this whole building out

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ahaha lance has gone into mum mode

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** keith uve never seen it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its astonishing to witness

 **gay in space:** i think i actually just saw him clean up?? and he’s put cushions everywhere?

 **hunky dory:** Noah likes to run around. He fell and hit his head on the side of a table once and Lance has been paranoid ever since.

 **man with the memes:** dont oh my god

 **man with the memes:** he needed seven stitches in his eyebrow

 **man with the memes:** there was so much blood

 **man with the memes:** i think i cried more than him

 **man with the memes:** and ale just fucking laughed!!! said he had battle scars!!! he didnt die so hes fine!!

 **pigwidgeon:** you couldve diED you couldve been sEEN

 **pigwidgeon:** calm down molly weasley

 **man with the memes:** ill stop freaking out once hes here

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no you wont

 **man with the memes:** yeah i know i chat shit

 **man with the memes:** he just always does things!

 **pigwidgeon:** wow. funny that. a child. doing a thing.

 **man with the memes:** pid if you are not going to be helpful then do not say anything

 **pigwidgeon:** okay then

 **man with the memes:** really ok great thanks can you open the corridor windows on your floor pls ty

 **pigwidgeon:** i wont say ‘anything’

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** EYYYYY

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oldie but a goldie

 **man with the memes:** i hate u also u technically said it so

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** you walked into that one lance

 **pigwidgeon:** lol what how could you even ask that of me lance. i am not doing that. i am trapped under six feet of blanket burrito goodness. i am not doing such things as moving or attempting to walk down stairs

 **man with the memes:** pid are you high

 **pigwidgeon:** what me

 **pigwidgeon:** noooo way

 **pigwidgeon:** what gave you that preposterous notion

 **man with the memes:** oh my god you stayed at alluras ln i forgot

 **man with the memes:** LOL allura i havent seen pid properly high in so long how much have you even toked

 **man with the memes:** WAIT NOTHISI S SO BAD WE HAVE A CHILD ON THE WAY

 **man with the memes:** dONT DO THESE THINGS

 **pigwidgeon:** im not going to hang out with ur nephew lance im sorry but,, im just not. so im going to get as high as i like thank you very much.

 **gay in space:** i love it when pidge talks shit it’s like my favourite thing because it’s so rare.

 **gay in space:** it’s like a mom burm.

 **pigwidgeon:** yeah well i wish all of yall woULDNT talk so much shit

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** EYYYYYY MY KID DUNKED ON YALL TWICE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** 2KL4SKL.jpg

 **gay in space:** cursed image

 **man with the memes:** please dont start blingzeeing all ur selfies again allura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** my blingzee era was such a look tho

 

**alevator to man with the memes (11:07)**

**alevator:** Hey baby bro am pulling up now. Noah hasn’t stopped giggling and smiling since I told him he was spending the weekend with favourite uncle Lance

 **man with the memes:** aw hes my favourite too

 **man with the memes:** im omw down

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (11:08)**

**man with the memes:** o shit shes outside

 **man with the memes:** guys its time to pretend to be adults!

 **pigwidgeon:** i just put my briefcase and suit away you should have told me earlier

 **man with the memes:** pidge just stay upstairs pls

 **pigwidgeon:** dont have to tell me twice

 **man with the memes:** hunk allura please Help

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** give me half an hour or so and ill be down x

 **hunky dory:** I’m all yours when I’m back from work bro

 **man with the memes:** my gs (Blue Heart )

 

**man with the memes to alevator (11:39)**

**man with the memes:** text me when youre at the airport and when youre on the plane and when youve landed alright?

 **alevator:** Lol okay Mom. We’re basically at the airport already tho

 **man with the memes:** shut up and have a good time. dont bring anything back

 **alevator:** I’ll try not to

 **man with the memes:** im serious

 

**alevator to man with the memes (13:17)**

**alevator:** Lol aight we had to run to our gate but it’s cool!!  On plane. NEXT STOP AMSTERDAMMM! (Party Popper )(Party Popper )

 **alevator:** Well

 **alevator:** No

 **alevator:** We have a connecting flight. Next stop Philly I guess but AMSTERDAM ALL THE SAME!

 **man with the memes:** lol okay safe flight enjoy yourselves x

 **man with the memes:** noahsaysbye.mov

 **alevator:** Bye baby boy!! Mumma loves u!! Big sis also loves baby bro!! (Heart Decoration )(Heart Decoration )

 **man with the memes:** love you too (Blue Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to top of the pops agony aunt column (13:25)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** BYE BYE ALE HAVE A GREAT TIME DW UR SON IS IN CAPABLE HANDS (NOT MINE LANCES) HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT ENJOY URSELVES (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

 **etchasketch:** yeah what she said

 **savanabanana:** Safe flight sis! Have a great time (Two Hearts )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (14:54)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what time is the play???

 **hunky dory:** Starts at 5, so we need to leave at around 4:15?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** see hunk theres a problem there

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** bc that time is 5 mins before 4:20 and i cant blaze in the car with a five year old.

 **man with the memes:** hunk just likes being early for being early

 **man with the memes:** we could leave at 4:45 and still make it

 **man with the memes:** but we wont!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** is 4:30 a happy medium?

 **hunky dory:** Fine. But we will all be in the car by 4:30 okay?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes mum

 **man with the memes:** yeahyeah

 **pigwidgeon:** do i have to come

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well no

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but its a family outing and ur in the family so

 **meet matte:** truly the first born is forgotten once they leave for college

 **pigwidgeon:** ugh

 **pigwidgeon:** fine

 **man with the memes:** pid ive never seen you put up less of a fight

 **pigwidgeon:** im too high to care. i just dont want to move

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill piggyback you

 **pigwidgeon:** if thats a genuine offer im taking it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah you weigh like the same as my backpack pid its nbd

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (15:23)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** can i tell you something shiro?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** it wont make much sense to you, because you dont know her very well

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but im one of those people who have to say things when they get certain thoughts even if its to someone completely unrelated to the situation

 **Space dad:** Are you alright, Allura?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah im fine lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im just thinking about life

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** as you do

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and just about today

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and i had this thought and i mean its not a very nice one ? but its also a thought that i think may very well come true?

 **Space dad:** Can I hear this thought?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol sorry im talking so much yes you can hear it.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i think that noah is going to end up living with lance.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i feel bad for saying it because ale has been doing well recently but i cant see it lasting and lance is the only one who has been a constant in noahs little life so far

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he wont want to leave on tuesday

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i was joking when i said it earlier but like

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes never wanted to leave after a weekend here

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes always hid or cried or kicked up a fuss or all three

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i think as time goes on hes just going to eventually not leave?

 **Space dad:** Do you think Alejandrina would be alright with that?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** honestly i think it would be like a dream come true for her

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** she loves noah dont get me wrong

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but she isnt a mother and has never wanted to be?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance forgets how long ive known ale lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i knew lance before id met him

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** like when i met keith and pig lol

 **Space dad:** You really do know everyone. It’s sort of astounding.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im just a sociable person??? ahah

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so i mean i know her pretty well

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and i know lance has always been the one there for him

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** so ah idk just my musings

 **Space dad:** I am touched you’ll share such profound thoughts with me.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont mock me old man

 **Space dad:** I would never.

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (17:12)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds hunk im still like fangirling over ur moms

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** davina is so cool i want to be as powerful and Cool as she is

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** kick ass boss lady

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** owner of her own company and Ting

 **hunky dory:** Lol mama is pretty cool. I can’t think of her as kick ass boss lady though, when I’ve seen her half asleep trying to make Nih’s bottle and changing her diaper for the first time.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and leilahni is still so pretty!!!! i want to age like her omds

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i cannot believe she is 49 she looks my age

 **hunky dory:** Tell mom that you’ll make her day

 **man with the memes:** allura shut up u know ur gonna age like the most gracefully out of us all

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg i pray to every god in the world i do

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but ty for ur faith in me bb

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok sh the plays starting

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (19:20)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** OMDS NIYLAH WAS ADORABLE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** I VIDEOED HER SINGING

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** MYLILBABYNIECE.mov

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** XFACTORMATERIAL.mov

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** FUTUREYONCE.mov

 **man with the memes:** lol i videoed noahs reaction

 **man with the memes:** thatsnotreallyyoursissykid.mov

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds thats so precious im gonna die

 **hunky dory:** Guys it’s kind of embarrassing that you got more excited than us, her actual family.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i cant help it im so proud of her

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shes so beautiful hunky she looks just like leilahni

 **hunky dory:** Neither mom nor mama are Niylah’s biological parent allura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** idc she looks like her

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (19:38)**

**man with the memes:** noah really likes u lol

 **gay in space:** i can tell

 **man with the memes:** yeah hes heard a lot about you

 **man with the memes:** not from me or anything

 **man with the memes:** like my sisters and that

 **gay in space:** and how do they know about me?

 **man with the memes:** ok i lied ive told anyone wholl listen to me about u

 **man with the memes:** did u know not many people are down for listening to me talk about u for hours on end

 **gay in space:** shocking

 **man with the memes:** noahs usually the only one who will listen but i dont think he actually Listens uno

 **man with the memes:** like im sure he takes his aids out and just nods along

 **gay in space:** lol im sure he really cares about what his uncle lance has to say dw

 **gay in space:** and anyway i’ll listen to you talk about me. it would do wonders for my ego

 **man with the memes:** well first off can we talk about your ridiculously tight pants because ngl it was really awkward to try to hide the lil general

 **man with the memes:** like the worst possible place to pop a boner

 **man with the memes:** a fuckin childrens play

 **man with the memes:** like i genuinely think u do these things to ruin my life

 **gay in space:** lance these aren’t even my tightest pants

 **man with the memes:** OH MY GOD

 **man with the memes:** ok this is why i dont talk to you about you because you dont realise when to Stop

 **man with the memes:** we are in a car with the Family god damn it

 **gay in space:** lance i can’t help it if every little thing i say makes you pop a boner

 **gay in space:** allura’s right you’re just weak?

 **man with the memes:** i know. i am a man of many faults as ive said

 **gay in space:** it’s okay i still like you

 **man with the memes:** (Blue Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to lol when these dumb bois getting together (20:23)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys who got photos from today bc gOD FUCKIN DAMMIT IF THEY DID NOT LOOK LIKE THE HAPPY GAY COUPLE FROM AN ADOPTION AD I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WILL

 **pigwidgeon:** gayuncles.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** reverseremusandsiriusanyone.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** loool as always pidge has the evidence

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god im dying

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** noah looks so happy omds

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he loved keith?? like he took ages to warm up to shiro

 **pigwidgeon:** hes still weary of me and im still weary of him tbh

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge he is an adorable sweetheart how has he not Melted your Ice cold heart

 **pigwidgeon:** i dont like kids

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but hes not even a Kid kid!! hes an angel????

 **pigwidgeon:** hes a little shit allura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but hes so CUTE

 **hunky dory:** Lol its because Lance has been talking to Noah about Keith. He told me that he got 'relationship advice' from him the other day. I think we can assume from all that that Noah is always on the receiving end of Keith doting

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no wonder the kid loves him all hes heard is lances lovestruck chatter

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** guys idk about you but im emotioning abt all this

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im so happy for them????

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** like?? keith was so quiet and lonely and now hes Made friends and its just so nice to see?? and he has something that is pretty Pure with lance considering how much the two collectively sin.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** not like real sins but like the meme sense because memes are fucking sin

 **pigwidgeon:** allura please dont turn their weird meme kink relationship into something 'pure'

 **pigwidgeon:** its not pure

 **pigwidgeon:** its Hell

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shut up pig ur the biggest klance shipper other than me

 **pigwidgeon:** lies. i think they are destructive and giving them the combined power of being in a relationship could possibly destroy the world

 **pigwidgeon:** imagine if they ended on bad terms

 **pigwidgeon:** everything would turn Upside down

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge stop they arent even official yet

 **pigwidgeon:** im just saying

 **pigwidgeon:** like i know i joked and said i wanted out

 **pigwidgeon:** and it doesnt even matter because im out now anyway

 **pigwidgeon:** but think about it

 **pigwidgeon:** would it really be good for them to actually be in a relationship? i dont know if either of them could handle it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pid imma stop you there cos i know ur meaning well and all

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but like

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** can u not see how good this has been for both of them

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** how much keith and lance have both grown

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes it would be Even More hellish if they ended on bad terms and nothing would be the same.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but also they still would have had the chance to grow and become the people the are now? that wont change?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** like im not saying theyre grown enough to not start being ridiculously petty and make shitty jokes to cover up how sad they actually are

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but they would also have gained the experience of feeling content and happy and they could hopefully use that and carry it in a good memory?

 **pigwidgeon:** i think youre giving them too much credit.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i dont think youre giving them enough. they have been having feelings chats on their own. theyve been working at becoming better versions of themselves together.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont talk shit about them when you havent grown since uve graduated high school pig.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** literally and figuratively

 **hunky dory:** Wow am I witnessing Pidge and Allura discourse?

 **pigwidgeon:** allura im just being practical? we have something nice here and neither of them can deal with being in a Serious relationship.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pig you arent being practical youre being selfish and youre forcing your own ideas on to them

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes it could be the biggest disaster of their lives

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but we cant interfere

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** because we could be stopping what could be the best thing for them ????

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they are kids. we need to let them grow up and make their own mistakes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** there comes a time we we just have to let them go *cue cliche*

 **hunky dory:** Honestly guys I think you’re both too invested in their lives like chill. Let them do them

 **pigwidgeon:** disagree but i wont do anything

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol mom has spoken yes we need to chill

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i appreciate it. and i really do see what youre saying, i do

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but we just Cant

 **pigwidgeon:** i get it, allura.

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (21:06)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ://// eurgh i hate beign weird with piggy they are so aloof i cant tell if ive actually upset them or not i just want them to see that the love they have has made them both stronger and grown from it they need a little watering of lvoe too they need to grow evheihflieufvie i dont want to offend them and they just speak so blunt its like theyre pissed off but i just dk with them and ughgughgughgh

**Space dad:[MewhenIgetmessageslikethis.jpg](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/7iwKoxLNSF7dmTYMo0RSjedRAfvQ1-zxiMwC_-ZsaOQimHGiKtDULe5huqZzzy_pkHkp9ir6oyDBNEo=w1280-h703)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god shiro this is the best day ever you jsut sent me a meme in correct context with perfect delivery

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dID YOU EDIT IT ASWELL OMDS

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i love it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** u just made me so happy u just cleansed my pores okay im just gonna go talk to them

 **Space dad:** I didn’t say anything?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no but its the tHOUGHT THAT COUTNS

 **Space dad:** I’m sending you badly edited memes more often.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg pls do x

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to pigwidgeon (21:12)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey ok pid i know i said wed leave it but im not that sort of person okay

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** were disagreeing but we are okay yes?

 **pigwidgeon:** of course allura

 **pigwidgeon:** just because we dont agree on something doesnt change the fact youre still one of my closest friends

 **pigwidgeon:** but im not budging

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i know ur a stubborn lil shit

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but srsly little watering of love my child

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** u workin tonight?

 **pigwidgeon:** nope.

 **pigwidgeon:** also i transferred you $20 cos i did a bit of a number on your solid this morning. i literally didnt move from ur bed and just played undertale on ur laptop because thats like the only game you have on it

 **pigwidgeon:** who the hell doesnt have steam

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** not me sorry i use my money for makeup x

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg did u gENO MY GAME

 **pigwidgeon:** no lol i did a pacifist dw

 **pigwidgeon:** and i also havent moved from my bed since u dropped me on it when we got back.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** LOL omds pid im laughing but seriously wow

 **pigwidgeon:** you had a shower and left and said i could chill so i did

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ahaha im glad u were comfortable enough to chill x

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance is putting noah to bed so im gonna go back up and get ready for work, maybe try to shower??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and eat

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk made spagbol?

 **pigwidgeon:** could u bring a plate down to me please please please

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol workout

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah kiddo. go wash and ill be down with the food

 **pigwidgeon:** okay

 **pigwidgeon:** thanks x

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (22:04)**

**man with the memes:** its way nicer to share a bed with you than a five year old i gotta say

 **man with the memes:** the danger of you wetting the bed is like 25%

 **gay in space:** i’m glad you have so much faith in my ability to not wet the bed

 **man with the memes:** is it weird that i still want u here

 **man with the memes:** like i dont even want to do naughty things i just want u up here with me and noah

 **gay in space:** i don’t think it’s weird. i still want to be up there with you.

 **man with the memes:** do u

 **man with the memes:** um

 **man with the memes:** want to

 **man with the memes:** maybe do that

 **gay in space:** lance do you want me to come up for a sleepover

 **man with the memes:** yes i really do

 **gay in space:** lol i’ll bring my nail polish

 **gay in space:** wait he won’t wet the bed will he

 **man with the memes:** i mean theres a 50-75% but i made sure he went to the toilet before

 **gay in space:** i’m the big spoon i’m furthest away from it if it happens

 **man with the memes:** lol i can make that sacrifice

 **gay in space:** be up in a second. is noah asleep?

 **man with the memes:** yeah. its okay if he wakes up just let him know its you i dont think he will care?

 **gay in space:** lol okay im blaming you if he wakes up crying about the strange man in uncle lance’s bed

 **man with the memes:** wouldnt be the first time

 **man with the memes:** wait shit no thats just a joke i mean like thats never happened

 **man with the memes:** foot mouth me tiny brain goblin

 **gay in space:** ffs lol. see you in a second (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pls not that the bus journey lance is referencing to is keith piggybacking him. 
> 
> *pls note. the cursed image is a selfie of pig and allura wrapped up in her blankets with emojis and glitter stickers all over it and GEEEET DUNKED ON written over the top.  
> (allura is the undercover nerd that gets in on all the kids interests)
> 
> also just because:  
> kids playing undertale  
> pid changes their fun value to get gaster, does all possible endings, has over 200+ hour gameplay. they love chara bc they are both chaotic evil  
> keith does the genocide route just to hear megalovania (keith its on spotify... ITS NOT THE SAME)  
> lance tries to do a genocide and cries and resets when he kills papyrus. he doesnt try again after.  
> allura only does pacifist and hasnt reset. her favourite is undyne (of course) (SEXY FISH LADY SEXY FISH LADY SEXY FISH LADY)


	4. unkle hunkle and auntie allura days out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunky dory: Sorry guys it’s for two adults and two kids.  
> hunky dory: Pidge, wanna come along?  
> pigwidgeon: i hate this family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha hey guys sorry i feel like this has taken me years but im back at work now and have no time to myself anymore and this has been sitting unfinished in my docs for like two weeks so yeah i suck

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )  (9:15)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** morning my good men

 **pigwidgeon:** morning guys

 **hunky dory:** Morning all!

 **man with the memes:** morningfromusall.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** awwwe cute!! sleep well?

 **gay in space:** would’ve slept better if the kid hadn’t woken us up at 7 to watch pokemon

 **man with the memes:** hey he didnt wet the bed it couldve been a lot worse give him some credit

 **gay in space:** i feel like a kid again up in the morning on a weekend with coco pops watching cartoons

 **gay in space:** i can’t believe its still running

 **gay in space:** and that ash hasn’t aged a fuckin day

 **pigwidgeon:** its because in the first ep when he saw ho oh his wish was to stay on his pokemon journey forever so he doesnt age and can continue his journey for literally ever

 **pigwidgeon:** consumerism at its finest

 **gay in space:** …. is that really the reason?

 **pigwidgeon:** eh its not canon but its a pretty solid fan theory that sort of explains the fact as to why ash has been 10 for the past twenty odd years

 **man with the memes:** ok then another question

 **man with the memes:** how does this kid get so many bitches

 **man with the memes:** like he literally has a harem

 **man with the memes:** whats his secret

 **pigwidgeon:** bc hes a pokemon master

 **pigwidgeon:** its a chick magnet

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** as a chick i can confirm

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** if u a pokemon master there is a 99% chance ill bang

 **man with the memes:** im a pokemon master???? ;;;;)

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw too bad u fall in the 1% oxoxo

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (10:07)**

**man with the memes:** hey hunky whatchu doin w noah tday

 **hunky dory:** Think me and Shaedy are gonna take him to the zoo. I got these vouchers from the cereal so why not put them to use?

 **man with the memes:** omds i want to cooooome fuck work

 **man with the memes:** i wanna see the monkeys

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey is there room for me?? ;)))

 **hunky dory:** Sorry guys it’s for two adults and two kids.

 **hunky dory:** Pidge, wanna come along?

 **pigwidgeon:** i hate this family

 **pigwidgeon:** but yes. yes i do

 **pigwidgeon:** do you think it will work

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** really

 **man with the memes:** this is like the time when we all made hunk go get alcohol for us for the first time

 **man with the memes:** in what world would they not buy it

 **pigwidgeon:** shut up. hunk when are you going?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk i cant imagine you being small ever

 **man with the memes:** he wasnt

 **man with the memes:** u seen that photo of the rock at 15 and he looks like a mid twenties man

 **man with the memes:** just put hunks face on it and you got teenage hunk

 **hunky dory:** Ahaha, maybe a little chubbier. And probably leave here about 11?

 **pigwidgeon:** okay ill shower and be up soon

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk ur chub is the Best and it makes u look soft and cuddly its the best disguise bc no one expects u got superhuman strength underneath it

 **hunky dory:** I live to deceive

 

****hunky dory to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (11:48)****

**hunky dory:** Rebel.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** mission is a success. the fools bought it. i have gained access to the reptile house. next step, the world.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** with ur cold blooded buddies?

 **pigwidgeon:** scaleyfriend.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** im pretty sure im a parselmouth.

 **pigwidgeon:** thisguylikesme.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** i said hi and he came over!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge ur so cute

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** did u ditch mom and co

 **hunky dory:** Won’tletthem.jpg

 **hunky dory:** This is a nuclear family unit and goddamn it we are sticking together on this outing.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** AHAHAAHAHA

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** PIDGE CRACK A SMILE ONCE IN A WHILE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** omds u look so pasty next to everyone im cry

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its like the printer ran out of ink

 **man with the memes:** hunk thats my new background i love this photo so much

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i want an uncle like hunk

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** a hunkle!!

 **man with the memes:** everyone does

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what about the four of u falls under a nuclear family set up though if i may ask

 **real slim-shaedy:** we are a hetero couple with two supposed under 12’s, we got in under a nuclear family ticket, it’s close enough!

 **real slim-shaedy:** and noah could pass for being mine and hunky’s child at a stretch, you know, if he was a bit darker and if we could reproduce and all, but still. they dont know that. pidge is the odd one out but we love our albino child all the same.

 **pigwidgeon:** the public dont know our secrets

 **hunky dory:** Pidge please stop trying to make this sound like a secret service mission.

 **pigwidgeon:** ahaha good one hunk

 **pigwidgeon:** *wink wink*

 

****man with the memes to gay in space (12:12)****

**man with the memes:** keith im at a dilemma

 **gay in space:** how so

 **man with the memes:** i want that photo hunk sent as my background but i cant change it

 **gay in space:** why?

 **man with the memes:** bc its you!!!! i cant change it from you

 **man with the memes:** like well i mean i can but i dont want to because i love that photo too

 **man with the memes:** makes me all warm and smiley when i see it because im like dANG i like him and he likes me WTF how did that even happen

 **man with the memes:** ok u know what

 **man with the memes:** omg i am evil

 **man with the memes:** but its a photo of family still

 **man with the memes:** IM THE WORST SON EVER

 **man with the memes:** changed my lock from me and mama to hunkle n ma neph havin funtimes

 **man with the memes:** see this is what you do

 **man with the memes:** you make me be a bad son

 **man with the memes:** i hope ur happy

 **man with the memes:** also why arent you replying

 **man with the memes:** u okay?

 

****gay in space to Space dad (12:14)****

**gay in space:** shrioooooooo

 **gay in space:** shrirrooooooo

 **gay in space:** shriiiiiirrrrrrrooooooo

 **gay in space:** i’m dying

 **gay in space:** like genuinely i think these are my last words

 **gay in space:** tell mako that he needs to keep my identity a secret after i pass and help him delete all record i ever existed it won’t be that hard

 **gay in space:** gonna go gaster on this shit

 **gay in space:** let the void take me

 **gay in space:** fuck

 **gay in space:** dOES HE EVEN KNOW THE THINGS HE SAYS SOMETIMES

 **Space dad:** Is this anger?

 **gay in space:** yes im so mad at him he makes me a puddle of fucking goo and he just happily fucking goes about baristaing while im literally dying and its his fault

 **Space dad:** Keith you’re a mess.

 **gay in space:** i know i hate myself

 **gay in space:** fuck he’s stILl talking

 **gay in space:** i don’t even think i can read it or i might Actually die

 **Space dad:** RIP keef

 **gay in space:** when did you get so unhelpful

 **Space dad:** When you got so ridiculous

 **gay in space:** touche.

 **gay in space:** i’m blaming lance

 

****gay in space to man with the memes (12:27)****

**gay in space:** yeah hi sorry

 **man with the memes:** u okay?

 **gay in space:** well i mean i just had a minor breakdown to shiro so yeah i’m feeling better now

 **man with the memes:** what happened omg bbs im sorry ill fight???

 **gay in space:** youspeak.jpg

 **gay in space:** ireact.jpg

 **gay in space:** cleared up?

 **man with the memes:** KEEEEEIIITH

 **man with the memes:** (Blue Heart ) (Blue Heart ) (Blue Heart )

**gay in space:** go back to work i don’t want to speak to you

 **man with the memes:** LOOOOOVE UUUUUUUUUU

 **man with the memes:** U BIG MUSHY BABY

 **man with the memes:** u dont need to send that stuff to shiro u can just send it to me next time idm hearin all ur flustered rambles xxxxxxxx

 **gay in space:** no i like to make him feel useful.

 **gay in space:** and uncomfortable

 

**pigwidgeon to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (13:25)**

**pigwidgeon:** i hate kids that are really positive and still think the world is a good place

 **pigwidgeon:** because im a cynic and know the worlds a terrible place and i dont know if i can let them in on that yet or not

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** noah is FIVE

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** let him enjoy his youth! he doesnt need to know that the world is a corrupt consumerist capitalist dictatorship just yet!!!!

 **pigwidgeon:** being woke has no age limit allura

 

**hunky dory to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (14:02)**

**hunky dory:** Newfavouriteanimal.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** awwwwee!!!

 **hunky dory:** He asked me if it’s possible to grow his neck that long and has been walking with his chin in the air since we left.

 **pigwidgeon:** hes also been repeating the facts i read out to him like theyre brand new information.

 **pigwidgeon:** the kids fucking dumb

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge be nice

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes excited

 **pigwidgeon:** did you know that a giraffes tongues are up to 45cm long and are specially adapted to allow them to forage on trees that other animals would avoid, such as acacias, which are very thorny

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i did not

 **pigwidgeon:** did you also know that just like snowflakes and human fingerprints, no two giraffes have the same spot pattern

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i did not

 **pigwidgeon:** DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT baby giraffes can stand within half an hour of being born and after only 10 hours can actually run alongside their family.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im gonna be wyld n hit you w another i did not

 **pigwidgeon:** want some more? i mean even without the mildly photographic memory ive got like fifteen solid facts stored up here for probably the rest of my life

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey pidge u ever seen a giraffe fight

 **pigwidgeon:** what no

**ill lure ya (to ur death):[WATCH THIS NOW](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDhNutbXpFE)**

**pigwidgeon:** i love giraffes. i am so happy i know so many useful facts.

 **hunky dory:** Noah likes the video too.

 **hunky dory:** Now they aren't only cool and tall, they're cool, tall AND tough.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** giraffe appreciation!

 

**hunky dory to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (14:53)**

**hunky dory:** As always, they love the gift shop the most

 **hunky dory:** Spoiltkids.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** AHAHAHAHA

 **pigwidgeon:** okay at least i named my snake something cool the kid just named theirs giraffarery the giraffe

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and whats your snake called?

 **pigwidgeon:**...nagini

 **gay in space:** pidge do you ever think about anything but harry potter

 **pigwidgeon:** i have to be Ready

 **gay in space:** for?

 **pigwidgeon:** if i ever hear ‘harry potter’ in the distance i can jump in with indisputable discourse or if my knowledge is ever tested i will always be Ready. you want to know a random, obscure harry potter fact or reference? i am ready

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** WHO TAKES THE DURSELYS INTO HIDING IN DEATHLY HALLOWS

 **pigwidgeon:** HESTIA JONES AND DEDALUS DIGGLE

 **pigwidgeon:** come on allura give me something challenging

 **pigwidgeon:** but short answer no keith

 **pigwidgeon:** my mind is the opening credits of harry potter on repeat

 **pigwidgeon:** with the occasional megalovania interruption

 **pigwidgeon:** sometimes its a cool mash up of the two

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** loool do do do doot doot dooot doot dooot doot doooot doot doooooot doot do do doot doot doooot do do do doo doo doot

 **pigwidgeon:** im so disgusted that i actually read that in tune

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** nyeh heh heh!

 **pigwidgeon:** die allura

 

**man with the memes to hunky dory (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (17:30)**

**man with the memes:** hunk bro ur so great tysm

 **hunky dory:** Bro its cool don’t thank me lol. I had a really good day

 **man with the memes:** ikik just thanks for bein u bro never change ok

 **hunky dory:** U cool bro?

 **man with the memes:** im cool bro

 **hunky dory:** Bro

 **man with the memes:** bro

 

**man with the memes to pigwidgeon (17:35)**

**man with the memes:** pidge i know u dont like him or whatever nonsense but thanks for chillin w noah today i really appreciate it and he hasnt shut up

 **man with the memes:** he really likes cousin pid ;))))))

 **pigwidgeon:** cousin?

 **man with the memes:** well as u said

 **man with the memes:** theres no gn of aunt/uncle

 **man with the memes:** nd u are a kid so

 **man with the memes:** cousin pidgey!!!

 **pigwidgeon:** no.

 **man with the memes:** dont fight it pid

 **man with the memes:** embrace the noah love

 **man with the memes:** also he seemed really surprised you could speak

 **pigwidgeon:** what?

 **man with the memes:** he thought you were 2

 **pigwidgeon:** i hate this kid

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (19:19)**

**man with the memes:** loool noah just pointed to the wine and said thats mummys drink why is it here

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** looool he snakin her from across the world

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** snitches get stitches

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he didnt learn to tattle from ale i know that much for sure

 **man with the memes:** yeah okay he got it from me

 **man with the memes:** i was the biggest blab

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** was?

 **man with the memes:** okay still am

 **man with the memes:** when i was a kid a boy scouts we had a mothers day thing yeah

 **man with the memes:** and we had to write what our moms favourite thing was

 **man with the memes:** and me bein the smart ass kid i was wrote gin and tonic

 **man with the memes:** when obviously her favourite thing was me, her sweet angel son,,

 **man with the memes:** lemme tell you mama was not happy when that was read out in front of the whole church

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** looool ur such an ass dont drag mama marie like this, im clearly her favourite thing

 **hunky dory:** Objection. I can state with confidence, that I am her favourite. I am featured in at least three photos and have two up. AND I AM NOT EVEN HER CHILD

 **man with the memes:** pbbbbft i have FOUR up on the wall and am featured in nearly every group photo

 **gay in space:** that’s because you pose whenever you see a camera and will literally break a limb to be in a shot.

 **man with the memes:** beauty such as mine should be captured and cherished

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol if i had a kid i know theyd be a shit enough to write special cigarettes or some shit

 **gay in space:** okay as funny as that was

 **gay in space:** really it tickled me

 **gay in space:** but you were in boy scouts

 **gay in space:** do you still have the shorts?

 **pigwidgeon:** FUCKING GROSS

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** KEITH OH MY GOD IM DEAD

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance if u still have the shorts you should deffo rock them

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** show off that booty boy

 **man with the memes:** lol yes let me ring my mama up and ask her if she still has my shorts from when i was 12

 **man with the memes:** and then when she asks me why i make such a strange request

 **man with the memes:** explain to her that i have weirD FUCKING FRIENDS

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** marie knows im a weirdo and she still wants me to be her daughter in law

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** tell her theyre for me shell find them

 **man with the memes:** im not calling my mother up to ask for boy scout shorts i wore when i was a preteen

 **man with the memes:** that is even if she still has them

 **man with the memes:** she probably sold them on ebay or gave them to a charity when i moved out

 **man with the memes:** like the woman has like four photos of me in her house. ONLY FOUR!

 **man with the memes:** matt i feel ur struggle im the forgotten child and im technically not even the firstborn??//? i think

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shut up drama queen

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** how many photos has she got of everyone else

 **man with the memes:** idk like i mean the twins have a photo on the mantelpiece and ale and noah are on the welsh dresser and all the cousins are above the fireplace

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance she has the most photos of you up shut the hell ur mouth

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** mamas boy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** OH MY GOD WAIT

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** NONONO PAUSE THIS CHAT ONE DIDDLY UM TUM

 **man with the memes:** what the fuck

 **gay in space:** um…?

 **pigwidgeon:**???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** sorry!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** found it!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** HA LANCE IS THIS YOU AND SAVANNAH OR IS THIS YOU AND SAVANNAH

**ill lure ya (to ur death):[IM RUNNIN ERRANDS WITH MA MOM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ4FWWnqrvU)**

**hunky dory:** Oh my sweet baby Jesus

 **hunky dory:** I’m weak

 **hunky dory:** Lance. I literally remember doing grocery trips with you and the twins and Mama exactly like this. Allura you could not be more accurate. He actually used to freestyle

 **man with the memes:** um okay i spit way more fire than that mayo kid

 **man with the memes:** but yes laugh all u want at the mamas boy

 **man with the memes:** however

 **man with the memes:** do any of you get your laundry done for them still???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** damn….

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he got us…..

 **hunky dory:** Technically yes cos she does mine too

 **man with the memes:** HUNK YOU DONT COUNT

 **man with the memes:** also guys look what i taught noah

 **man with the memes:** aimiriteladoramiritelad.mov

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur actually terrible

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** he doesnt even know what hes saying stop forcing lad culture on this poor boy

 **man with the memes:** LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (22:28)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i enter the workplace environment

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** makeup: fleeky

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hair: did

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** rass: out

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i am forcibly removed from the floor and onto the pole

 **Space dad:** Yaaaas Allura, earn them stacks.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im wEAK

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** SHIRO

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** WHAT

 **man with the memes:** shiro pls never ever eVERsa y anything remotely like that again

 **gay in space:** ignore lance please only ever speak like that again

 **pigwidgeon:** i read it in siris voice tbh

 **Space dad:** ;)

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (22:34)**

**man with the memes:** dad is so embarrassing how do u live

 **man with the memes:** did u deal with dad jokes growing up

 **man with the memes:** i bet he did the hi hungry im dad joke at least five times

 **gay in space:** looool lance he was a child uno

 **gay in space:** we both got awful dad jokes from mako tho

 **man with the memes:** shiro… not being a Dad… what...

 **gay in space:** i don’t see him as a father lol??? you forget we traded pokemons and he beat up bullies

 **gay in space:** honestly your the only one who genuinely sees him as ‘dad’

 **gay in space:** well maybe pid

 **gay in space:** but yeah hes just big bro Shiro

 **man with the memes:** okay well talk about this but more important matters:

 **man with the memes:** you didnt beat up ur bullies what the hell?

 **gay in space:** oh no lol i did

 **gay in space:** but then they’d get their older brothers and cousins and bare in mind i was a really frickin small kid okay

 **gay in space:** these fifteen year old boys who were like three times the size of me could easily kick the shit out of me no matter how hard i fought

 **man with the memes:** oh no babe :(

 **gay in space:** no its cool shiro’s a mma master he kickflipped the crap out of them when i came home with a black eye and a broken rib

 **man with the memes:** can i ask what it all started over?

 **gay in space:** lol thats the funniest thing

 **gay in space:** literally i just hit this one kid for taking the piss out of my name then all of the sudden i was like in beef with fifteen man

 **man with the memes:** ur name?

 **gay in space:** they called me kogayne

 **man with the memes:** oh my god

 **man with the memes:** keith i call u that all the time

 **man with the memes:** does it offend u im sorry

 **gay in space:** no if it annoyed me i would hit you

 **gay in space:** i just didn’t like anyone and was always looking for an excuse to fight tbh

 **man with the memes:** eh fair and sounds very typical of you

 **man with the memes:** okay sounding bad again ignore

 **gay in space:** lol i don’t even register it anymore tbh

 **man with the memes:** thats sad because it means i do it alot but its good because i fuckin do it alot so just dont listen to a word im saying ever????

 **man with the memes:** OH MY GOD WAIT KEITH I FOUND ONE THATS BETTER THAN KOGAYNE

 **man with the memes:** U READY

 **gay in space:** no.

 **man with the memes:** KOGA NAE NAE

**gay in space has ended the chat**

**man with the memes:** this is a prime example of that

 

 **man with the memes to ill lure ya (to ur death)**   **(22:49)**

 **man with the memes:** allura help how do i get my brain to not think up sentences and how do i type something and fUCKING PROOFREAD TO CHECK I DONT SOUND LIKE A FUCKING DOUCHE OR A FUCKING IDIOT BEFORE I SEND

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** are u and keith fighting again

 **man with the memes:** no i dont think so ? i dont know

 **man with the memes:** i called him koganaenae directly after he told me some story about these assy kids calling him kogayne n that he doesnt register my sort of asshole sounding-ness after i was sort of an ass and then he ended the chat and now im like wtf do i do

 **man with the memes:** he maKES ME Act like such aN IDIOT

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance pls

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** you make yourself act like the idiot

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont blame poor keith

 **man with the memes:** i know

 **man with the memes:** but i think of things and i just have to say them

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** …

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** koganaenae is quite good lol

 **man with the memes:** i know ahahahahahahahah

 **man with the memes:** okay no gonna sort this out like a mature adult

 **man with the memes:** by sending him memes

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** godspeed young one

 

**man with the memes to gay in space (23:01)**

**man with the memes:** i dont have a polaroid but here are photos of me being sad because i upset you

 **man with the memes:** sad.jpg

 **man with the memes:** imsorry.jpg

 **man with the memes:** 4giveme?.jpg

 **man with the memes:** ily.jpg

 **man with the memes:** imlaughinginthisonebutthatscosnoahfaceplantedthesofa.jpg

 **man with the memes:** kiddodown.jpg

 **gay in space:** you’re so ridiculous

 **man with the memes:** i know

 **man with the memes:** but u still like me rite

 **gay in space:** unfortunately

 **man with the memes:** :)))))))))))))))))))))))) (Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )(Blue Heart )

 

\--

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (10:13)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay noah had a great day yesterday but today is going to be EVEN better

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** AUNTIE ALLURA DAY!

 **man with the memes:** whatcha gonna do?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** well i was gonna take him down to the mall and get him some new sweet garms n new toys to get bored of after 5 minutes and catch a movie???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** then probs ice cream or whatever he’s feeling

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont worry ill make him eat a proper meal before any desserts yadayada

 **man with the memes:** dont spend all your money on him pls

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** cant promise anything

 **man with the memes:** ALLURA

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** heheheheheheheh >:)

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (13:32)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** do.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** youeven.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** know.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** howmuch.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** youdmake.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ifthiskid.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** wasamodel.jpg

 **man with the memes:** allura if you bought him all that i am going to make you return it

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hahaha no okay i only got him the jacket, jeans, the checkered shirt, the striped one and the red one.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and the little booties and the hat.

 **man with the memes:** ALLURA THATS EVERYTHING

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** um no there was another pair of trousers and the dress and the puffer??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and the jordans

 **man with the memes:** Do nOT BUY HIM BABY JORDANS OR I WILL FLIP LIKE FIVE TABLES AND MAKE YOU SELL THEM

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** for sale: baby shoes never worn

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes not dead or anything his uncle just told me it was irresponsible to spend $200 on baby shoes

 

******ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (14:12)******

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im sorry but we went to the disney store and i couldnt not get it for him???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** princessnoah.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** since getting the tiara he wont let his feet touch the ground. ive had to carry him as well as all the bags.

 **man with the memes:** allura put him down and tell him to walk hes taking the piss out of you

 **man with the memes:** he knows ur a soft touch

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i cant help it !!! i dont care !!! i love him !!!

 **man with the memes:** there are other ways to show love than spoiling

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah well its the only way i know how to show affection so shh

 **pigwidgeon:** can confirm alluras birthday presents are always the best and most expensive shit

 **pigwidgeon:** and she will always pick up shit for us if she goes out

 **pigwidgeon:** we notice these things allura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** COVER IS BLOWN. ABORT ABORT

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (15:05)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** igetthefeelingiaintgettingmuchpopcorn.jpg

 **man with the memes:** yeah he isnt good at sharing food

 **man with the memes:** what movie u seeing?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** FANTASTIC BEASTS??? obvs

 **pigwidgeon:** ALLURA WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what?

 **pigwidgeon:** I WOULD HAVE COME ALONG IF I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA GO WATCH IT?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ah im sorry piddy it was what he chose!!

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** also havent you seen it?

 **pigwidgeon:** yeah i streamed it when it first came out

 **pigwidgeon:** your point?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** looool ok nerd shhh need to turn ma phone off

 **hunky dory:** Enjoy guys!

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (17:43)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** heinsitshecanfinishit.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its like lance with the pasta all over again

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes so smol

 **man with the memes:** lol hell finish it

 **man with the memes:** he eats like hunk

 **hunky dory:** True. He had a bigger bowl of spag than any of ya yesterday and still ate seconds.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but he so smol! and already eaten his weight in popcorn!

 **hunky dory:** He’s a growing boy

 **hunky dory:** Did he like the film?

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh yeah. they dragons were his favourite

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** my fav thing was that newt called himself mummy bc if he was daddy i woulda had to kinkshame the entire harry potter universe and i dont know if i have that kind of strength

 **man with the memes:** shhh… daddys here

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i am going to piss on everything you love

 **man with the memes:** hope ur comfortable pissing on urself and the rest of the fam

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** awwwww

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but yeah im cool w that ill piss on everyone

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** watch urselves guys

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (18:20)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** iaminshock.jpg

 **pigwidgeon:** natural selection is coming for him

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** what

 **pigwidgeon:** he didnt eat the crusts!

 **gay in space:** who eats the crust…

 **pigwidgeon:** i cannot wait for all you weaklings to be killed off when the pizza plague comes and only those strong enough to eat the crust survive

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** HE STILL WANTS DESSERT

 **hunky dory:** Hahaha told ya Lura

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i stand corrected this kids stomach is a bottomless pit

 

****man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (18:32)****

**man with the memes:** allura whatever u do pls dont give him too much sugar we actually want him to sleep tonight

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (18:40)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lolsozlance.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** shouldve messaged me quicker

 **man with the memes:** allura hes gOING TO BE AWAKE FOR THE NEXT WEEK

 **man with the memes:** THAT SUNDAE IS BIGGER THAN HIS HEAD

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im running a bet with the people sitting behind us

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** they think he wont finish it and started laughing when it was served

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ME AND MY NEPH ARE GONNA PROVE THEM WRONG

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (19:03)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** WEINTHEMONEY.jpg

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im cry how did i win back like nearly half of what i spent today

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** im going out with this kid more hes a good luck charm

 **man with the memes:** YOU SCAMMED $150 OUT OF POOR UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC??

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** not my fault more tables joined in when they started watchin this kid fuckin devour this mountain

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** some mum of like three just gave me this look like ‘you gonna regret giving him that sm’ and im like shrug lol i got $150 and i dont even have him for the night so nmp

 **man with the memes:** ur so evil

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

******man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (21:59)******

**man with the memes:** HES WALKING UP FUCKING WALLS

 **man with the memes:** ALLURA

 **man with the memes:** THIS IS YOUR FAULT

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** sorry cant hear u too busy bein sexy

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i gotta earn an extra $200 to make up for today

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** no messaging no distracting!!

 **man with the memes:** ALLURA TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** sorry idk what ur talking about

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** speak to past me shes probably to blame shes the one who fucked up

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** she tends to do that

 **man with the memes:** ALLURA

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (01:23)****

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i had such a lovely weekend omds

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** such a nice day

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** and just

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw i love noah sm

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes just amazing

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** this weekend has really felt like were a family???

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** at least in the building

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** why u not been hangin w our new squad member

 **Space dad:** It seems you all have the job covered without me.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats not a reason

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its not a job

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** its just

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** chillin w a rad 5 year old

 **Space dad:** As much as I would love to chill with the rad five year old I am busy with work and such. I don’t have the time.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** boo.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** come over after work

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes fun

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** i promise

 **Space dad:** Maybe when he’s not hyped up on sugar.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** u jokin hes even more fun when hes hyped

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** but lol yeah come over tomo or tues before he leaves???

 **Space dad:** I’ll think about it.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** dw ill be there if ya dont know what to do. i got this childcare thing DOWN

 **Space dad:** That doesn’t reassure me much.

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol rude i am an expert

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ah shit breaks over

 **ill lure ya (to ur death):** ttyl ur comin over tomorrow

 **Space dad:** Stay safe and maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also!! im on the voltron amino (sevencamel) if you wanna chat !! if you dont have amino i recommend it! its a free chat/blog app on the app store and google play (i think, iphone gal) that is fandom specific so you can meet other people in the fandom! id love to hear from yall x


	5. bye bye noah hello tenji and dahl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man with the memes: allura did you just throw a lighter at him  
> ill lure ya (to ur death): he needs to lighten the fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahah okay i really wanted to write fucking tenji ok  
> this has what would probably be spoken dialogue but long so its kept in the same format lol

****man with the memes to gay in space (10:02)** **

**man with the memes:** told ya

**gay in space:** shut up

**man with the memes:** acting like youd get in trouble for letting a cute lil kid join in

**man with the memes:** you just dont want me in ur class

**man with the memes:** i know ur ways

**gay in space:** YOU DISTRACT ME

**man with the memes:** lies i dont even say anything i just get my groove on

**gay in space:** THAT’S DISTRACTING

**man with the memes:** ahahah awww keithy baby

**man with the memes:** i cant help that my hips dont lie

**gay in space:** what hips

**gay in space:** bony ass

**man with the memes:** bag of bones that can shake what they mamma gave them ;))))

**gay in space:** just take noah and leave

**man with the memes:** loool let us say bye first

 

**gay in space to ill lure ya (to ur death) (10:10)**

**gay in space:** i can’t even do this anymore

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow, its not even midday and uve already given up? is this some sort of new record?

**gay in space:** lura you know as well as me that i give up the moment i open my eyes in the morning and realise i have to face yet another fucking day of my life

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** relate but i thought it wasnt like every day anymore??? :(((( u ok???

**gay in space:** i’m exaggerating yes i’m in a Good Patch but still i’m giving up now

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what happen?

**gay in space:** lance

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he usually does happen

**gay in space:** please give him something to do on monday mornings because literally it’s just embarrassing when i am trying to teach a class and i can’t even fucking focus on anything because i’m just watching him stretch and move and it’s just,, not working

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** HAHAHAH ur all soooo weak

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i love it

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im coming next week i want to witness this

**gay in space:** THIS IS WHY I TALK TO SHIRO HE JUST SHAKES HIS HEAD AT ME

**gay in space:** YOU MAKE IT 100% WORSE

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** how

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i wont distract u

**gay in space:** you underestimate how good looking you actually are

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keithy!!! ur a beautiful babe too!!!  (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

**gay in space:** and also if you come i know you two and you’ll turn it into some competition or something then the whole class will go to shit and it will just be you two having an aggressively sexual dance off

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** cant argue

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but wont it be fun

**gay in space:** NO IT WON'T

 

****ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(12:13)** **

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i feel sick

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hellllp guys

**hunky dory:** Why?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok basically

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** munchies were a thing

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and garlic bread was on sale the other week so obviously,, i bought five packs of the four mini loaves

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i froze most of them but the ones in the fridge were about to expire

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so i put on two because im a big gal

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and now im sick cos i downed them in like ten mins

**hunky dory:** Allura how can you call us weak when you’re outed by two baby loaves of garlic bread

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is that a challenge

**hunky dory:** I could eat twice that amount in half the time and still be going

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** IT IS A CHALLENGE

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** fu im not weak

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** rest in the fridge and frozen is going in

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hash is being rolled

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im gonna show u

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** come on then hunkle prove ur claims

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wheres ur garlic breadt

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** nOT THERE im winning

**pigwidgeon:**...is this a garlic bread off?

**hunky dory:** It is now. I’m gonna show you what it means to truly be full on garlic bread

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (12:32)**

**man with the memes:** why have i come home to allura and hunk screaming at each other through mouthfuls of garlic bread

**pigwidgeon:** scroll up

**man with the memes:** shes worse than me when someone tells her she cant do something

**gay in space:** lance please no one is worse than you

**gay in space:** but yes she’s pretty bad

**man with the memes:** great now noahs joining in

**man with the memes:** this house is going to stink for the next week

**pigwidgeon:** are you… bad mouthing garlic

**man with the memes:** never

**pigwidgeon:** thats what i thought

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(13:37) **

**man with the memes:** after an hour of intense garlic bread eating

**man with the memes:** of which i somehow became the… referee? judge? of

**man with the memes:** we have a winner!

**man with the memes:** drum roll pls

**pigwidgeon:** *drum roll*

**man with the memes:** MYFUCKENAMAZINGNEPHEW.jpg

**man with the memes:** with the standings at four for allura, five and a half for hunk, and seven for my godlike nephew

**man with the memes:** im so proud how does he do it

**man with the memes:** anyone want some gb theres like three left

**pigwidgeon:** im coming up

**man with the memes:** it gd

**pigwidgeon:** its garlic breadt of course it good

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(13:49) **

**man with the memes:** GUYS

**man with the memes:** in light of recent events i have proposed a new acronym:

**man with the memes:** lgbt - lots of garlic breadt

**pigwidgeon:** EVEN STILL THE T IS FORGOTTEN

**gay in space:** *looks at smudged writing on hand* lesbian, gay,, bicycle,.. transformers?

**pigwidgeon:** im optimus prime bitch

**real slim-shaedy:** ahaha i suppose i am bumblebee!!

**pigwidgeon:** shae u like transformers?

**real slim-shaedy:** i like megan fox so ive seen the ones shes been in. i cant say its my favourite or anything but i did enjoy the films

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** YES GAL ME TOO

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i think jennifers body was like my Gay awakening

**pigwidgeon:** allura you say everything was your gay awakening

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** WELL I DONT KNOW DO I

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND IM LIKE… I WAS SO GAY

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** BEFORE I EVEN KNEW I WAS GAY

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** past me is an Idiot

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** present me is an idiot also

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so is future me

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats the only thing we all agree on tbh

**man with the memes:** hahah relate allura

**gay in space:** tbh same

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** toast to being idiots

**man with the memes:** to bein idiots!

**gay in space:** to being idiots

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (14:39)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok im deaded on gb but still come and hang with the reigning garlic bread champion

**Space dad:** Alright alright. I’m off in half an hour if I’m not called, I’ll stop by on the way back. Do you guys need anything?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** will to live

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** motivation

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** a reason to get out of bed in the morning

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the usual

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** sorry hahah just come over we all waiting

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its a movie night were gonna do all the back to the futures

**Space dad:** Oh no.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh yes

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** marty mcfly u one hells of awesome guy

**Space dad:** Wait how sad is that my pager going off?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** you arent duckin out on it

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** stop pretending you have work and get ur ass here pronto

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(15:10) **

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** keithy piggy get up here

**pigwidgeon:** pidge.exe has stopped responding

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** pidge use ur twiggy bird legs and walk that flight of stairs

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur fav trilogy is on

**pigwidgeon:** youre watching lotr?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** next fav

**pigwidgeon:** marty mcfly you one hells of awesome guy

**pigwidgeon:** okay im up

**gay in space:** can i just watch the first one and then go

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** how dARE you

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** we suffer through the vaguely awful second and third movies like MEN

**pigwidgeon:** my own roommate… such blasphemy...

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(20:56) **

**ill lure ya (to ur death) changed the group chat icon**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** possiblybetterthanthezoophoto.jpg

**pigwidgeon:** my face makes it if im honest

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u couldve at least pretended to be asleep for the image

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but no

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur an ass

**pigwidgeon:** thats right i am

 

\---

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (08:20) **

**man with the memes:** ok ales landing at bout 2 so she’ll be here to pick noah up about 4??

**man with the memes:** ill still be working allura you home to do the hand off????

**man with the memes:** pack up all his shit etc and make sure he doesnt like kick up too much of a fuss or whatever

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** can do can do

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** want me to bring him down to the cafe to say bye ??

**man with the memes:** ofc u think im letting him leave without hugs

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol oke will get all his shit ready will be down abt midday x

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg will be my first time meeting tenji!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont get too excited hes not that great

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** too late im excited

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** see u soon xx

**man with the memes:** see u x

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(10:42)**

**man with the memes:** alright so tenji just said this to me

**man with the memes:** i look at ur instagram when im sad

**man with the memes:** and i thought aw yiss this is it hes confessing he is really in love w me

**man with the memes:** time to fly off into the sunset in the arms of my geometric headed love

**man with the memes:** but no he finishes it with

**man with the memes:** its so stupid that it makes me laugh. then i remember that my life isnt as shit as yours and i can get through my day

**gay in space:** i love that tenji drags you when we can’t

**pigwidgeon:** its like a universal thing. you just Gotta

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok im comin down now i am too excited to meet his dude

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i hate being the last one to know things.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** everyone has met him now but me except for the Adults

**man with the memes:** yas allura

**man with the memes:** drag tenji pls hes so mean to me

**man with the memes:** and!!! u havent had one of my creations in ages

**man with the memes:** im gonna whip up something cool

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** are u allowed to make these god awful drinks

**man with the memes:** im not selling them and i only give them to you guys

**man with the memes:** tenji doesnt snake me and jacqueline usually ignores my bullshit

**gay in space:** i wish i could ignore your bullshit

**man with the memes:** no u dont

**man with the memes:** whats so wrong w my insta tho. like im hilarious and my instagram says i live a fun life

**gay in space:** no, alluras insta says she is hilarious and lives a fun life. her feed is sick

**pigwidgeon:** yours just says that youre a loser who still uses hashtags and quotes takes way too many selfies

**man with the memes:** um my hashtags are fabulous

**gay in space:** #just got out of the shower #wet

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** that gem will never Die

**gay in space:** i still have the screenshot

**gay in space changed the group icon**

**gay in space:** hashtagqueen.jpg

**man with the memes:** i am the #hashtagqueen

**man with the memes:** aint i aint gonna #rupaulogise for it neither

**pigwidgeon:** dont

**man with the memes:** #youcantstopthehashtags

**man with the memes:** #theyrecoming

**man with the memes:** #theyrehere

**pigwidgeon:** take your hashtags and shove them up your loose asshole

**gay in space:** can confirm. it is #loose

**man with the memes:** #keith!!

**man with the memes:** #betrayedbybae

**man with the memes:** #baetrayed!!

**man with the memes:** #whydoirecievesuchabuse

**pigwidgeon:** you dont deserve happiness. you watch minion yaoi

**man with the memes:** #thatscold

**man with the memes:** #thatwasonetime

**man with the memes:** #letmelive

**man with the memes:** #triplememe

**man with the memes:** #combomeme

**man with the memes:** #wowhowmanytimescanimemetoday

**man with the memes:** #imonaroll

**pigwidgeon:** IM GOING TO COME DOWN TO THE CAFE AND FUCKING KILL YOU

**man with the memes:** #letitgo

**gay in space:** oh shit lance pidge just got up and left. they slammed the door pretty hard. i felt it shut.

**hunky dory:** So did we.

**man with the memes:** its ok tenji will save me

**man with the memes:** update: tenji will not save me

**man with the memes:** keith??

**gay in space:** lol i just started campaign on borderlands sorry

**hunky dory:** #RIPLance

 

**gay in space to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (12:22) **

**gay in space:** did you die babe

**man with the memes:** no allura saved me. my only tru friend

**man with the memes:** in a grass field of snakes allura is the rock i can stand upon to scream for help

**pigwidgeon:** snakes can climb

**man with the memes:** dont kill my metaphor

**man with the memes:** also

**man with the memes:** TENJI IS NEVER ALLOWED NEAR NOAH AGAIN

**man with the memes:** OR ANY CHILD FOR THAT MATTER

**man with the memes:** IM GENUINELY GOING TO BAN CHILDREN FROM ENTERING THE SHOP WHEN HES WORKING

**gay in space:** what did he do

**man with the memes:** u know how pig was like i dont know if i can tell them the world is shit the other day

**man with the memes:** yeah this guy doesnt have that conscience.

**man with the memes:** heres noah getting all excited about the coffee machine and his cool uncle lance workin away

**man with the memes:** and this guy!!! is just !!! telling him how life is meaningless and uncle lance and him hate their job and that working with the general public is the worst thing in the world because people are assholes and that nothing matters then u die??!!!

**man with the memes:** and noahs just sitting there listening to all this allura didnt even turn off his aids shes just laughing ?????!!!!! and pig was just like, agreeing with it all???!

**pigwidgeon:** he was stating honest facts

**man with the memes:** if this kid starts up on the nihilism thing im fucking jumping off a building

**man with the memes:** hes too young for this shit

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** im just dyin cos im imagining him goin home to ale and rattling all this shit off

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like sweet lil noah sitting on the couch starts spouting nihilistic shit outta nowhere

**man with the memes:** NO IT ISNT FUNNY

**man with the memes:** COS IM GONNA GET BLAMED

**man with the memes:** “OH LANCE, WHY IS MY SON DISILLUSIONED WITH LIFE AND BELIEVES THAT IT IS A GAME AND THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS TO DIE?”

**man with the memes:** YOU THINK HES EVER GONNA SPEND WEEKENDS AT THE BUILDING AGAIN NO I DONT THINK SO EITHER

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance stop overreacting

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its ale

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shes just gonna shrug and go me too kid

**man with the memes:** …

**man with the memes:** i hate that youre right

**man with the memes:** dont care i still dont want that shit bein said to my baby neph

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** protective mumma lance is protective

**man with the memes:** no fucking good person lance is aware that children should be allowed to be children and have their whole lives to fuckin wanna die they should at least get the first decade of it not wanting to

**gay in space:** well then

**gay in space:** what do you think of tenji guys

**pigwidgeon:** hes been consistently Funny everytime i've come down

**man with the memes:** pidge this is your second time meeting him you never leave your cave.

**man with the memes:** keith and hunk know him best and know he is not actually funny just so depressing and monotone you gave to fucking laugh at him

**pigwidgeon:** keith obviously does

**pigwidgeon:** i still think hes funny but im Better in every conceivable way

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** thats tru

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** well his is a very Objectively Beautiful guy

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes got great facial structure

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but he also looks like he could do with a few good meals

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes skinnier than you two twinks

**man with the memes:** allura can you stop being such a Middle Aged woman for one minute

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what!! i am concerned for his health.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk can you cook something hearty and can we invite tenji over for dinner

**pigwidgeon:** allura why must you Take Care of everyone you meet

**man with the memes:** yeah he could be a murderer

**gay in space:** its fuckin tenji after all

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he is lances work friend and he has a life and friends and family all of his own! dont be so rude

**pigwidgeon:** allura youve had like one conversation with the guy

**pigwidgeon:** and in that conversation when you said 'so youre the infamous tenji' he just looked at lance and said on deadpan 'dont mention me. the fbi are tracking my every move. if you get me caught ill end you.'

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so hes a little paranoid?

**man with the memes:** so everything that comes out of his mouth is bullshit you mean

**man with the memes:** i dont think that guy has ever said one Serious sentence. he just looks serious when he says it so he Fools you

**hunky dory:** Allura I already did breakfast.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what

**hunky dory:** Lol I did omelettes.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aND I DIDNT GET ONE?

**hunky dory:** Not my fault you didn’t stay last night.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok im upset im owed dinner now

**hunky dory:** I'm tired and working till six

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** god damn it hunk i am just trying to feed an obviously malnourished child

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** plsplsplspsplspls

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** plsplsplsplspls

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** pslpslspls

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** let me do somethin nice for someone

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** dont you want to help you neighbourhood good looking possible murderer

**hunky dory:** Fine, I'll make something easy. Soup? Curry? Stew?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god hunky pls make dhal

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i have lentils upstairs im sure all the spices are there from the last time you made it

**hunky dory:** I can do dhal.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk im wellin up here

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ill get some naan and salt and vinegar crisps when we leave. you got rice and mince?

**hunky dory:** We have meat mince. Do you have soy? Not sure about onion or lemon.

**gay in space:** we do. ill bring up the soy mince and onion? its red though

**man with the memes:** hunk we have lemons i bought some the other day for a cleanse

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** omg whole family is chipping in i love this support

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** this is the kind of support you need in a building

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the height of lend me some sugar i am yo neighbour

**hunky dory:** So its a feed Tenji and dhal night??

**gay in space:** apparently so.

**man with the memes:** i hate this family

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u fucking love this family

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space dad (17:34)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh wow that was awful

**Space dad:** Are you alright?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** no

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i just hate seeing anyone cry

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and lil noah fuckin

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** bawled

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** sobbed

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** screamed

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** kicked up the biggest tantrum ive EVER seen

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ale looked broken hearted it was so sad

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i feel so awful for what i said now

**Space dad:** What did you say?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** when i was all ‘it would probably be a dream come tru for her’ in terms of noah staying here

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like she was really excited to see him and then he gave her a hug and she looked so content and then when she mentioned leaving he just switched and i could sEE her heart sHATTER in her eyes

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** maybe im being over dramatic

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shes grown! im proud of her!

**Space dad:** Maybe it’s a little too late?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** pls dont say that

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes still a kid

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** she can still make that bond and have consistency with him

**Space dad:** How do you know she’ll put the effort in?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i dont

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i dont pretend i do either

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but im pretty good at reading people i think and i know it hurt her a lot

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** maybe shell work harder

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** maybe she wont

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i dont know anymore

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i miss noah

**Space dad:** Already?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is that weird?

**Space dad:** I don’t think so. He’s easy to become attached to.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he is the perfect kid lol

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ahhhh im just upsetting myself

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hows ur morning going talk to me

**Space dad:** It’s not been too bad. Nel bought us all breakfast so I’m full on croissant. I’ve got a ton of paperbullshit to do though.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** mmm yummy but also deep

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** they only paperwork i do is countin my fucken sTACKS  (Nail Polish )

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ugh now i want nutella croissants

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** nope

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i just want nutella

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** fingers crossed i didnt finish the jar

**Space dad:** … Are you planning on eating nutella out of the jar?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shiro im a grown ass woman

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** of course

 

**man with the memes  to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way ) (18:09)**

**man with the memes:** is it weird that the flat feels so empty now

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** na it felt strangely quiet when he left lol

**man with the memes:** its weird

**man with the memes:** suppose its been a while since hes spent a weekend here

**man with the memes:** and he was here for nearly a week

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lancey do u miss noah

**man with the memes:** yes ok i miss my neph im not ashamed of that i feel weird that i dont have to check on him every five mins to make sure he isnt running into walls or whatever

**man with the memes:** how was he leaving?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** how do u think

**man with the memes:** was he bad bad

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** worst ive ever seen. think it was worse because you werent there

**man with the memes:** wow im the worst uncle ever

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** be quiet best uncle ever

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he gets so upset cos he luvs ya sm and doesnt want to leave its not ur fault lol

**man with the memes:** ugh im gonna shower

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u do that boo x

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunky hows dinner comin :)))))

**hunky dory:** Nearly done, will cook the rice when he's here.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ur a babe ily

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lance send me his no quick im gonna make a gc

**man with the memes:** +44 77834 9020

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) created the group 'dahl night' (18:10)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hi tenji ok to get to our building u gotta go past the traffic lights on the main road, the ones by the second roundabout, then ull come up to the 7/11 but keep goin then its the next left and the ur first right to the deadend we the last block (standin)

**tengu:** what

**man with the memes:** allura that makes no sense why go all the way around he aint drivin

**man with the memes:** bro u comin from work

**tengu:** yeah im locking up

**man with the memes:** sweet just go down the alley on the right from work then youll be at the back of the estate just go down the road theres only one and were on the left from ur side, its the one with the bridge looking thing cant miss it

**tengu:** ill let you know when im down the alley

**man with the memes:** sweet

 

**tengu to dahl night (18:42)**

**tengu:** here

**tengu:** keep going down the road right?

**man with the memes:** yup then first left with the bridge thing

**tengu:** yeah i see it

**man with the memes:** sweet last building by the dead end, block 75 and buzz 28

**tengu:** will do

 

**man with the memes to dahl night (18:57)**

**man with the memes:** whats w ur screen name dude

**tengu:** oh. its like pingu. you know, that shitty penguin stop motion that goes noot noot.

**man with the memes:** oh my fucking god

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** see! i told you hes a real human being!

**tengu:** i appreciate your belief in me but im not. im actually an alien

**man with the memes:** i knew it

**tengu:** the patterns in the back of my head are sigils from my home planet

**man with the memes:** no seriously dude what do those patterns mean

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** also tattoos can we get some tb on that???

**tengu:** my tattoos are from my time in prison. i went away for eight years for a double homicide.

**tengu:** i only got 8 years because i was 10 and i blamed my brother. he was older and i was a cute kid, so they believed me.

**gay in space:** i told you this guy has definitely killed someone.

**man with the memes:** he has a neck tattoo for fucks sake

**tengu:** oh hes right. anyone with a neck tattoo has definitely killed a man. as someone who is a murderer i can confirm.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay fine if you dont want to open up mr tall and cool dude

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** what do you do for fun??

**tengu:** what is fun

**man with the memes:** f is for friends who do stuff together

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u is for you and me

**hunky dory:** n is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea

**tengu:** f is for fire that burns down the whole town

**gay in space:** u is for uranium. BOMB

**pigwidgeon:** n is for no survivors

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** not quite

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so you like spongebob???

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is anything youre even saying real. was lance right for once

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** do you even like pengu

**tengu:** i dont know. i dont really "like" anything. i merely tolerate some things.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wow dude

**man with the memes:** allura did you just throw a lighter at him

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** he needs to lighten the fuck up

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** spark up and toke with us kiddo

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** wait can i call you kiddo?? how old are you

**tengu:** 24

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ah technicalities dont matter

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** you need to chill out either way

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** youre a gemini arent you

**tengu:** um what

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** whens youre birthday bud

**tengu:** 14th june

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah i knew it.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** okay have u hit the hay before??

**tengu:** no this will be my first time ever smoking a marijuana. dont tell my mother and you have to make sure my eyes arent red when i leave ok

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok sassy we dont know a whole lot about you!!

**man with the memes:** do the honors bro ur the guest

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to dahl night (19:25)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i fucken love dhal

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunk ur brilliant

**hunky dory:** As good as your Nan's?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** theyre good in different ways. i love ur dhal cos i get to share it w u all and it reminds me of home when im sad

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i love my nans dhal cos it is Home Cooking and i feel at home when i eat it ygm

**tengu:** you from india? is it custom to eat it like this there?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** my grandparents are. im a second generation anglo indian

**tengu:** thats cool. i dont know what that is though.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol its cool not many people do. anglo indian is like the indian kids that were born from when the british invaded and colonised.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** better known as When they stole tea.

**tengu:** fuck the british empire

**gay in space:** fuck all 'colonisation'

**tengu:** hear hear

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol agreed.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** my grandpa came over from india when he was about 16 and started life in the uk, married my grandma, had my dad, who then had me. my Back Home is the uk, where all my family apart from coran are.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** my Space family are here tho so its ok lol

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and eating with your hands or naan is. but the crisps are just one of my family's things? like i went to a curry house and ordered a dhal and was so shocked that it didnt come with salt and vinegar. i dont even know where it came from lol its just a Thing. deffo a good one tho

**tengu:** Space family?

**man with the memes:** tenj dont even

**gay in space:** its like pandoras box don't open it

**tengu:** i am not a curious person. i can go my life without knowing. like thanks for telling me that background info allura but it really doesnt make a difference to my life

**pigwidgeon:** oh wow

**gay in space:** lol allura's mad

**man with the memes:** you just insulted tragic backstories dude

**man with the memes:** bad move

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** youre kind of an asshole do you know that?

**tengu:** oh yeah.

**tengu:** i mean i say what im thinking and i dont really care what people think of me so

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** theres a difference in being blunt and being a cunt

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** lol that rhymed

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like pidge here is blunt but youre kind of a cunt

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** like with all this i have nothing interesting to say about myself so ill just make some shitty jokes

**man with the memes:** hey dont drag him for that we all use humour as a defense mechanism

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ok true but we are all sort of Getting There with our Emotional Maturity

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** speaking to this asshole is like throwing me back to the says when i first met all you bitches

**tengu:** wait so these guys are such wet dons because of you.

**tengu:** wow how have you got so many dudes so whipped

**tengu:** teach me i want that power

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** u dont deserve that power

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i use mine for good

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** youd use yours for Evil

**tengu:** i cant argue

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** do you just not care about anything. really.

**tengu:** well my depression has killed everything in me so when i do experience "feeling" i usually crack a joke and let the apathy take over.

**pigwidgeon:** lol same

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hey pidge u may not Emotion well but u like slime ??

**tengu:** they arent truly dead yet then. there is still hope for them.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** you arent dead either

**tengu:** wheres your proof

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** the lighter hit you. therefore youre corporeal. therfore real.

**tengu:** is anything real

**gay in space:** lol same

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** no pidge keith i do not want you bonding over wanting to Die with this man!!

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** its okay you did it with each other because you had me to guide you

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** befriending this dude will send you back!!!

**gay in space:** wow dude sorry allura said no. we can't be friends

**tengu:** whipped

**pigwidgeon:** we all really are

**man with the memes:** we admit it. allura owns our asses

**tengu:** im actually think i might be impressed by your power. the first emotion ive shown since 2006.

**man with the memes:** oh my god allura how do you do these things

**tengu:** no wait its gone. fleeting like the springtime. a single blip of emotion is shown in the change of the seasons.

**gay in space:** poetic

**tengu:** thanks. i write haiku in my spare time.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i dont know if i should ask about it or if i should just keep the conversation going

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** is this more what is apparently Well known Typical tenji bullshit

**tengu:** no i really do write poems in my spare time. i do it after i groom the horses and water the hyacinths in the fountain garden.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** right ok so guys whos down for a movie

**man with the memes:** sounds good

**pigwidgeon:** is anything on netflix

**gay in space:** wb the new sense8

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shouldnt we let the guest pick

**man with the memes:** please dont let him pick youll regret it

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** no i wont

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** shut up

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** tenji do u want to pick the film?

**tengu:** sure. i have one i think you guys will like.

 

**man with the memes to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(20:17) **

**man with the memes:** i fuckin told you allura

**man with the memes:** thats... like three times ive been right tonight??

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yeah ok im wrong sometimes i admit!! im the bigger person

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** oh my god what the hell how has he still got a straight face

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** this film is fucking disgusting

**man with the memes:** allura i showed him a pimple popping vid that came up on my feed and he didnt even so much as BLINK

**man with the memes:** the guys not natural

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(21:39) **

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** well that was an eventful night.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i vote we maybe not invite tenji round much

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hes not Bad just it is just ......//

**hunky dory:** What? Tenji’s my Best Bro he’s coming round to bake with me tomorrow. He actually seemed enthusiastic but I just don't know with the guy.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** ah i want to reach out and help him Grow but also at the same time my hands are full with you guys and i Dont want to

**hunky dory:** Aha it’s okay allura. you did a nice thing for him. You can’t help everyone

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw you guys

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** best space family. love u all  (Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )(Purple Heart )

**hunky dory:** (Yellow Heart ) (Yellow Heart ) (Yellow Heart )

****gay in space:** ** (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

****man with the memes:** ** (Blue Heart ) (Blue Heart ) (Blue Heart )

**pigwidgeon:** (Green Heart ) (Green Heart )

 

**ill lure ya (to ur death) to Space family (Sparkles ) (Milky Way )(21:47)**

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yassss so much leftoverrrrs

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** hunky can i pack some up xx

**hunky dory:** yeah course

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** tytyty

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** going to make dhal sandwiches

**pigwidgeon:** ew what

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** no you dont understand

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** i was super high at my nans once

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** grandpa left me some of his stash because i was sitting the dogs for them

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so i was going through the fridge and there was some leftover dhal

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and obviously i was like, yes, gonna cop dat

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** but i couldnt be asked to make rice and there was no naan right

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so i got one of those bake at home rolls and banged that in

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** then thought, hm, gonna need something so this isnt so dry.

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** and i found cheese?

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** so tldr i made a cheese and dhal roll and it was so great and im so making one tomorrow who wants in

**pigwidgeon:** can the cheese be burger cheese

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** yes of course

**pigwidgeon:** i want in

**gay in space:** i do

**man with the memes:** no keith

**gay in space:** i want to try it though

**man with the memes:** keith stop trying to Die

**gay in space:** im strong a little cheese won't kill me

**man with the memes:** i got you get a strawberry milkshake the other day at mcdonalds and you Died

**gay in space:** still alive but im barely breathing

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** aw poor keith im sure you can get lacto free cheese?

**gay in space:** who has the time or money for that bullshit. i can suffer little more, i do enough in my everyday life that it won't be so bad.

**gay in space:** also do all your stories start with 'i was super high once'

**ill lure ya (to ur death):** well when am i ever Not.

**gay in space:** touche

 

**gay in space to  man with the memes (22:09)**

**gay in space:** how’re you

**gay in space:** holding up without your personal hypeman?

**man with the memes:** hahah not really

**man with the memes:** i miss him

**man with the memes:** a lot lol

**man with the memes:** i forget how much i love him spending time here

**man with the memes:** me and him were inseparable when he was a bitty baby

**man with the memes:** hed come to me over ale, hed be passed to me if he was crying or whining for no apparent reason

**man with the memes:** and ugh just

**man with the memes:** i like having someone to fuss over

**man with the memes:** and yeah its nice to have as u say a personal hypeman

**man with the memes:** im like giving out all these opinions beign all am i right lad and then my heart breaks cos he aint here to go u are right lad

**man with the memes:** its just a lot of things and i miss him

**gay in space:** baby. its ok. anything i can do?

**man with the memes:** no just cuddle i dont want to speak or do like anythin i just want to mope is tht ok

**gay in space:** lance.

**gay in space:** do you even know me.

**man with the memes:** lol ok stupid question

**gay in space:** (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)

**man with the memes:** (Blue Heart )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin tenji puts his milk before his cereal, bites ice cream, left handed, AB blood type, gemini, longsighted, and had small scars all over his body that are raised and red/white but are hard to make out most of the time.  
> (he’s actually a really chill dude he just memes his discomfort to the extreme to make every else around him as uncomfortable as he is. hes fun to work with, ask lance. he has a cat who he loves nearly as much as his baby sister. he really does bake (and is good at it, he wants to bake at the cafe) and he really likes ginger flavoured things)


End file.
